Malawi, me, friends, stories, and whatever else I generally find interesting that's going on in this world...

Thursday, August 11, 2005

Please Read before asking me for anything...

"Hardware Problem" Prices:

-Figuring out you mean floppy drive when you say hard drive - $50.00
-BEFORE I order your replacement hard drive - $250.00
-Telling me that you don't have a hard drive $50
-Spending 15 minutes to find out the size of your hard drive (includes walking you through the process) $100
-Telling me that you don't save anything to the any of the drives, you "just push a button and it goes off into computer land." $50
-Fixing your "broken" mouse with a mousepad - $25.00
-Fixing your "broken" optical mouse by rotating the mousepad 90 degrees -$35.00
-Fixing your "broken" optical mouse by taking off the post-it note someone has put on the bottom. - $50.00
-Fixing a "broken" mouse by cleaning the rollers - $50.00
-Fixing your "broken" printer with an ink/toner cartridge - $35.00
-Fixing your "broken" ANYTHING with the power button - $250.00
-Fixing the "crashed" system by turning the external disk back on - $200.00
-Fixing the "hung" systemby plugging the ethernet transciver back in - $375.00
-Fixing the crashed nameserver by plugging back in the SCSI cord someone accidentially yanked out on Friday afternoon when the 'real' sysadmin has just left for a two week vacation - $400
-Visiting your old university and fixing the broken PC by plugging the monitor lead back in - $50
-Spilling coke on keyboard - $25 plus cost of keyboard
-Spilling coke on monitor - $50 plus cost of monitor
-Spilling coke on CPU - $200 plus cost of motherboard swap plus hourly rate of $150 per hour spent reinstalling the system
-Cleaning the mouse with spit and sleeve - $50 plus cost of sleeve plus cost of therapy :)
-Chewing on the end of the graphic tablet stylus - $25
-Listening to your network troubles, suggesting that you check to see if you are plugged into the network jack, hearing yes, trying five other things, asking you to identify your plug type, listening to you drag furniture, and hearing a sheepish, "Oops. Nevermind." - $35 (including discount for polite apology)

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