Mawalien Invasion

Yeah. like

2010-07-28T17:28:00.005+01:00

God is a 13 year old scriptkiddy

2010-07-22T18:29:00.003+01:00

I

God: Noah, all the people of earth are sinners. You alone are righteous.

Noah: Thanks God. Long time fan, first time prophet.

God: So, I have decided to smite the entire world with a flood.

(pause)

Noah: Erm... Couldn’t you just teach man goodness? Show him you're a caring God? Maybe use your omni-powers to help humans evolve into what you want?

God: No. I’m thinking “flood”.

Noah: So you’d rather just kill every man, woman and child on earth, regardless of what good they've done on th-

God: What part of “flood” do you not understand?

Noah: Gotcha... Ark... two by two.... Roger Wilco...

II

God: Moses…I have seen the plight of the Jews in Egypt.

Moses: Wow. Only after, uh, 400 years there, right?

God: Yes.

Moses: Awesome.

God: I will take you out of Egypt after ten terrible, terrible plagues.

Moses: …ten?

God: Is there a problem?

Moses: It’s just…ten is a lot. For, you know, God. Couldn’t you get this done in like, one, two plagues max?

God: No. For you see Moses, I will harden Pharaoh’s heart against me.

Moses: So…you are going to stop him from letting us free from slavery.

God: Yes.

Moses: So you can bring more terrible, terrible plagues upon the people.

God: Yes.

Moses: And you see nothing wrong with this picture?

God: ...

Moses: Are there any other God’s up there I can talk to?

III

Mary: Did you send the child support?

God: Frankincense and myrrh. Yeah.

Mary: Annnnnd?

God: (sighs). And gold. And the gold.

Mary: That’s better.

IV

Job: …

God: Well, this is awkward.

V

God: Abraham, you must circumcise yourself.

Abraham: As you wish, my lord.

God: LOLOMFG!!!!. He’s totally going to do it! LMAOOLLOOLLL!!!

Ain't it the truth

2010-06-28T14:08:00.000+01:00

"Be careful. People like to be told what they already know.

Remember that. They get uncomfortable when you tell them new things. New things -- well, new things aren't what they expect.
They like to know that, say, a dog will bite a man. That is what dogs do. They don't want to know that man bites a dog, because the world is not supposed to happen like that.

In short, what people think they want is news, but what they really crave is olds. Not news but olds, telling people that what they think they already know is true."

Terry Pratchett through the character Lord Vetinari from his novel, "The Truth: a novel of Discworld"

Late Again....

2010-03-13T18:53:00.001Z

Yeah, I guess it makes sen.... wha?

2009-11-25T17:56:00.002Z

To Chump

2009-10-21T03:44:00.003+01:00

Dear Chump,

I thought about calling you a week ago.

Wanted to tell you about the comment that I found last Tuesday on Daliweb, from way back in 1998.

You said:

"I have loved Dali's paintings since high school. It's good to see it on net too."
Thursday, April 23, 1998 at 01:52:55 (EDT)"

And that made me think back to Mr. Bruggerman's art class, both of us in the back, laffin our asses off, and listening to Nirvana and Beavis n Butthead. You made your "controversial" Mum sculpture, and I did the citadel, and we were both inspired by the hot Malawian sun, laughter, friends, and our first glimpses at Dali.

I wanted to say "Hey... what the hell... we haven't seen each other in 14 years... How's about gettin your sorry self over to Portugal toot-sweet?" as soon as you picked up the fone.

14 years... You were right... time doesn't fly between best buds.

I remember my first day at school, when you came up to me and said "So, you're the guy who went away, and came back?" I said "I guess", and you replied "Huh... you're quiet..."

The last thing we did together was play chicken 3 times in a row at Capitol Hotel pool. Not too bad for a chick! You just know we were invincible... Still have the three battle scars.

I remember running behind you, coming up from the hockey field, in torrential rain. As we hit the old skating rink, I looked in horror as I saw you slip, fly up horizontally, then crash to the ground.
I almost screamed "Are you OK?" as I tried to help you up.
You groaned "I think I broke my butt!", and we both cracked up in the rain.

Youth group and Mr. Dunfords 2000A.D. comics.

I still have the Angels Don't Cry tape cover you made me. And the prayer beads. And the jade leaf.

More than that, I have some of your love for the little things in life.

Some of your smile in mine.
My sense of humor was influenced by your laughter, and I'm pretty sure it'll echo on.
You helped me to grow in a lot of little ways.

November rain, dear.

November.

you were early

One day...

2009-10-14T18:16:00.000+01:00

Vote for me! Just because I'm Asking you to!!!

2009-10-13T20:09:00.004+01:00

I know I normally don't write in Portuguese, but in this case, I think it will be easier to understand when the target audience reads it.

Recebi um mail. Igual a muitos outros, embora difere no conteúdo:
-----------------------------------------------------------------------

DIVULGUEM COMO ACHAREM MELHOR E MAIS EFICAZ:

O Museu Guggenheim de Nova Iorque está a preceder a um concurso internacional de Design a que chama COMPETIÇÃO DE ABRIGOS ("Shelter Competition"). Os concorrentes têm de enviar o projecto 3D de um abrigo de acordo com as regras do concurso. Foram admitidos cerca de 600 projectos de 68 países.

Dos 600 projectos foram seleccionados 10 finalistas, entre os quais está o projecto do arquitecto português David Mares. É neste projecto que entra a cortiça, aliás a cortiça é mesmo o elemento do qual é feito o abrigo.

O "CBS - CORK BLOCK SHELTER " é um abrigo construído na versátil cortiça. Mas como se não bastasse a já honrosa posição de pertencer ao TOP 10 deste concurso neste momento o abrigo de cortiça está em 3º lugar na votação do público. Pf acedam ao site do concurso e votem "CBS - CORK BLOCK SHELTER " -

http://www.guggenheim.org/new-york/education/sackler-center/design-it-shelter/vote-for-shelters!

Além do prémio do público, este concurso contempla também um prémio atribuído por um Júri, que será divulgado na Guggenheim Museum's 50th Anniversary Celebration, no dia 21 de Outubro

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

A sério? Precisam de angariar votos desta forma?
Qualquer pessoa com 2 dedos de testa consegue ver o que está mal neste mail.

Votar num design, só por ser Português? Só porque é feita de cortiça?

E que tal seguir os critérios de votação, escolher o melhor design baseado nos critérios de selecção, e votar nesse? Não?

Já agora, os critérios são: The relationship of the shelter to the built or natural environment around it, How does the architecture of your shelter relate to physical location you have chosen for it, How is your shelter placed on the site, In what ways does your shelter take into account the site’s weather, How does your shelter organize space, Thoughtful use of materials, Adherence to the project specs, e Quality of the SketchUp model.

Aposto €50 que 98% dos portugueses que votaram na "caixa de cortiça" nem sequer olharam para os critérios de selecção.

Por mim, os designs “A Bamboo Shelter in a Garbage Dump City” (Philipinas) e “Lagoa Azul Shelter: Between Water and Sky” (USA/Brazil) são de longe muito mais interessantes que uma caixa feita de cortiça.

Isto faz me lembrar outros mails que recebi, para votar numa campanha Online feita pela FIFA, para escolher o melhor jogador de futebol do mundo. No mail explicava como se podia "crackar" o sistema, e votar em todos os Portugueses. Várias Vezes.

Embora neste caso em concreto, a FIFA descobriu a "falcatrua" e desqualificou muiiitos votos (não ganhou um português)

Já que terminou o prazo de votar online, escrevi um mail aos organizadores do evento (Podem fazer o mesmo: annualfund@guggenheim.org ) a explicar esta situação, e a perguntar se existem formas de detectar este tipo de manipulação de resultados. Espero receber uma resposta até dia 21 de Outubro (Data que vão escolher o design vencedor), que vou publicar aqui num update.

Stay tuned!

Atchoooo....

2009-09-09T14:45:00.000+01:00

Vampires?

2009-09-09T14:39:00.006+01:00

Shabop Shalom, baby....

2009-09-04T12:34:00.001+01:00

"...for the constantillionth time...."

Think of others

2009-09-01T12:12:00.001+01:00

Sometimes in life, people just need to make other people smile.

Keep on going...

2009-08-27T20:30:00.000+01:00

Sudoeste Festival, 2009

2009-08-10T23:12:00.009+01:00

Yeah, it was grand!

Started off with a walk through a parking lot coated in a fine brown talc, which would pounce up and hungrilly latch onto your head as soon as you disturbed it.

Obviously, people feel quite artistic upon approaching a festival. (Ok, ok... I did two of these...)

C&M went straight in, and I had to wait for a friend of a friend who had my ticket. He showed up, vodka in hand, and a group of 6 of my buddies showed up at the same time.

Promises of beer, headbutts in the mosh pit, stage diving and more beer were handed out in glorious excess, as we headed in through the giant blue gates.

Brief pat down by the security guard (My trick: Put dirty socks on top of whatever it is you don't want found), and we were in!

It's one of the best feelings in the world!

Walking into a festival like Sudoeste. The mind reels at the assault on the senses.

Dust, grass and people-stench crack you on the bridge of your nose. Your eyes are treated to a feast, seemingly prepared by Jamie Oliver on acid, including an entree of greens and reds, a main course composed of the tiny people on the distant roller coaster flailing their arms around in apparent terror, the bread and butter on the side dish is the chubby chick bouncing, carefree on the bungee-trampolines, and as dessert: the three stages, perched up high and proud like medieval guards in a swamp of smiles, smoke, dust and man-sized frog-angels, sporting little green wings, seemingly stolen from some undiscovered exotic Brazilian parrot species.

Off to the fray!

Thinking it best to prepare for the night and morning ahead, the first group grabbed two tables, and each of us was dispatched to forage for beer, pizzas, greasy, grey-brwon cheese burgers, beer, chips and beer.

The feast only lasted 40 minutes, but it was filled with merriment, catching up on old times, and many a tale of adventures past.

The first group I managed to see was a no-name portuguese band who seemed like they were desperately trying to catch the attention of the 10 fifteen year old kids leaning against the stage perimenter. I really tried, like I do with most new music, but, no... these guys got sent straight to the little leather pouch I keep in my head for those really obscure daliesque dreams I have. (hey... stuff I put in there does seem to mutate and get... more interesting...)

Next up were the Mad Caddies.

These guys were a Ska band (although I knew they hadn't washed earlier... I could still smell the punk and raggae on them...) and this was the first time I had set eyes on their show.

The side-projection screens were roaring out green, yellow and red hues,

and just to make sure you were paying attention, now and again they'd belt you upside the head with a picture or two,

with what can only be described as ancient Zion kings with cool hats,

and great tastes in beards.

Blind Zero were up next, and as they cranked up their luso-made diesel engines, I was brought back to the day I left Portugal, headed back to Africas's Clitoris (yes... not many people know how to find it... but it's kinda cool when they do). I was at Lisbon airport, listening to the Chino-Latvian announcement about the next flight departure, when I decided to purchase their "Trigger" album. Partly because I wanted to try something new, and partly because I thought I might impress the blonde chick standing next to me in the "B" section with my musical taste.

....sorry... I'll try keep this short...

Engines roaring, they shifted through gears, and belted out "Shine On" in 4th.

At the end of the 6th song, I was looking away from the stage, hoping to see someone flying off into the now black-blue sky, having gotten thrown off the roller coaster mid-ride by the ticket guy, when I heard Miguel Guedes in the fog of noise saying "...and now we'd like to take you back..."

Battle stations! An "all hands on deck" alert was issued, and I scrambled to pull my camera bag out my back pack, unzip it, power it on and hammer down on the "rec" button in one swift move.

I really gotta practice my technique, because I missed the start by 3 seconds...

Once they finished their act, I wandered off, to do a little people-watching. I was wearing a red scarf over my face because of the dust, and because of this, all through the concert, people would stop me, asking if I was wearing it because of the Flu.

"Flu? What flu?" I retorted.

"You know... the swine pig flu type A HN A pig flu swine.... thingy..."

"Erm, no... never heard of it dude.... I'm just here for the music, and I'm allergic to Zambujeiran dust..."

"Oh... right..."

On my excursion into the bowels of the festival, I saw a frog-angel who had clearly fallen from grace as he was being... how can I put this... forcefully assulted from behind by a drunken band of bearded gorillas. Along this journey, colourful cavemen bonked clubs on each others heads, and although they looked realistic, instead of having an odour of rotting flesh, and unwashed bodies, they smelt like some over-zealous wanna-be Giuseppe Baldini tried to turn a clearly feminine odour into a sneak-attack bi-sexual smelling deodorant.

Off to the end of the festival area, was one of the best things I saw at the festival. I have seen a lot of content from the standar media sites related to the festival, but not one spoke of this attraction.

An array of several cubes made up of multi-coloured lightbulbs, pulsing, squirming and beating to an unheard rythm. It was simplicity itself. A steam-punk adaptation of Humphry Davy's invention of the first electrical light, pulling on the nerve endings of our current tech-culture.

All I can say is that the footage does not do it justice...

Fighting through the masses, I decided to head back to the main stage. Like many around me, I was forcefully pushing through the crowd politely enough not to get kicked, heading for somewhere... closer.

I'll leave this section up to your imagination....

After FNM, our tiny group of 3, who had started out at 10:30 that morning, decided to wonder around the festival, searching for that one last hit.

We were treated to a great rendition of a famous Bob Marley song, which we lapped up with gusto.

We then headed home, enjoying the sweet afterglow of a day well spent.

All in all, it was quite enjoyable.

With all this knowledge and wisdom I gained, I feel I am in the position to give you this one piece of advice:

"Always close up the foil, to keep the steam and flavour in."

Middle of summer? Frikkin no way, man...

2009-07-22T20:31:00.002+01:00

Damned if you do... Damned if you don't...

2009-07-22T19:46:00.006+01:00

***EDIT***
Thanks to DS, who pointed out that Leviticus doesn't EXPLICITLY say you will go to hell if you do these things.
********

According to the bible, you ~~ARE going to hell if you have done anything on this list~~ not supposed to do the things on this list:

* traveled out of your home town and eaten fruit from a tree younger than three years old. [Leviticus 19:23]
* cross-bred any animals. [Leviticus 19:19]
* grown more than two types of plants in your garden. [Leviticus 19:19]
* worn a cotton+polyester blend T-Shirt. [Leviticus 19:19]
* read your horoscope. [Leviticus 19:26]
* consulted a psychic or fortune teller, or cold reader. (Also, aparently anyone who manufactures alcohol...) [Leviticus 19:31]
* cut your hair. [Leviticus 19:27]
* trimmed your beard. [Leviticus 19:27]
* gotten a tattoo. [Leviticus 19:28]
* planted crops for more than seven years non stop in the same field. [Leviticus 25:4, Exodus 23:11]
* bourn a grudge. [Leviticus 19:17]
* collected interest on a loan. [Exodus 22:24]
* insulted a leader. [Exodus. 22:27]
* mistreated a foreigner. [Exodus 22:21, 23:9]
* spread false rumors. [Exodus 23:1]
* driven a Mercury. Mentioned, read or watched any comics or cartoons with the following characters:
- Thor, Angel, Nemo, Pluto, Hercules. [Exodus 23:13] (Don't believe me? Check it out for yourselves....)

But wait.... according to Jesus, the only Unforgivable sin, is denial of the Holy Spirit. In some passages, it is so unforgivable, that the following 4 generations of your family are cursed. Also, if you are not "for him... you are against him... in this life and the next"
This can be found in everything from Mark to Matthew to Luke

Erm... sorry.... it still makes absolutely no sense...

There's a little less hotness in the world today

2009-06-26T10:29:00.001+01:00

I think I still have a poster of her out an old portuguese TV Guia.

Myth Busting Rants

2009-05-07T19:33:00.007+01:00

Living in Portugal, I have noticed that there a few interesting cultural myths, that everyone takes as wrote.

Now I know what you're thinking (especially if you live in Portugal): This guy is just a Portuguese-Basher. Well... no. I just prefer science to old wives tales.

So, here I list a few myths that I have encountered, and a very cursory explanation of why they are just MYTHS...

1 - My favorite one is this: If you buy a potted Basil plant, and you want to smell it, you can't use your nose to smell the plant directly. This will kill, or at least harm the plant. Apparently, you need to press your hand down on the plant, and then smell your hand.

Reducing this to basics: If you smell the plant with your nose, about 2cm's above the plant, without actually coming into contact with it, the plant will die. If you press your hand onto the plant, then smell your hand, it will not die.

Makes perfect sense..... :|

Especially if you're the guy selling the plants and makin' mad money.
"Yes sir... don't smell the plant... squish it... preferably with a brick... or hammer... Oh, and if youre plant dies (because someone smelt it dierectly) I have more for sale..."

(UPDATE: You got to read this post by Rita on Piano & Raciocinio.) Mythbusting aside, it's a great post...

2 - Cracking your knuckles will give you arthritis:

Well, a study of 300 people who had bad habits of cracking their knuckles did not find any evidence that doing so leads to arthritis.
Cracking your knuckles might damage your joints in other ways, or make them weaker, but arthritis is genetic....

3 - Eating too much piri-piri, or spicy food will give you ulcers:

Eating spicy food does not have anything to do with causing ulcers. The work conducted by Australians Robert Warren and Barry Marshall ended up in the awarding of the Nobel Prize, who concluded that stomach ulcers are actually developed by a strand of bacteria known as helicobacter pylori.
So, my friends, eat lots and lots of chilli, ginger and every other spice you can. It IS good for you... Look at people living in India. They have really low levels of heart disease, ulcers and other digestive disfunctions.

4 - You MUST wait 1 / 2 / 4 hours after eating before going swimming, otherwise you will get cramps / die / drown.

(This is the one I have the hardest time trying to explain to people, but no-one will listen to me... Oh well... it just means I get an extra hour or two by myself in the pool after lunch :D )

During digestion of food, more blood is sent to help in the process, with less left around to tend to our muscles. But this represents a very very small percentage of the total blood available in your body.
The few cramps some people might get are associated to other factors, like over exertion, or inadequate fitness levels. Also, if you go from a really hot environment into extremely cold water, you might get a cramp, among other things, but it has nothing to do with whether you ate or not.
If this was anywhere near true, then you wouldn't be able to do a lot of other things after lunch, like climb stairs, have sex, ride a bicycle, go for a jog, etc etc without passing out or getting cramps, or dying, or whatever is supposed to happen to you.

5 - Don't swallow gum / Eat peppers - They stay in your stomach for 3 / 5 / 7 years:

I have tested this, by eating kilos of peppers, and swallowing every piece of gum I chewed on.
Ok, if you still need convincing: Gum is made up of two major components, sugar and a type of plastic. Your body breaks down the sugars and the plastic gum ends up in your stool. There's really no way gum can "get stuck" inside your belly.

6 - If you go outside / get wet / get cold / walk around barefoot you will catch a cold / the 'flu'.

This is the one that I think most people here believe in.
It is also the easiest to prove wrong, if you would just take the time to find out how common colds work in the first place.

Colds are the result of a simple virus that we get from breathing in from the air. People stay inside more during winter, with all the doors and windows shut. This makes for a drop in fresh air circulation, creating more opportunities for you to breathe in those pesky cold viruses.

Conclusion: NOT going out to catch some fresh air, and staying inside will increase your chances of catching a cold.

7 - If you shave your face / legs / arms / armpits, the hair will grow back stronger / thicker / longer / darker.

This is another one most people believe.
Shaving your hair has nothing to do with the growth of new hair. If it did, wouldn't your balding father/grandfather be spending extra time shaving his head? The reasons for thinking this way relates to the length of the hair follicle.
The shorter it is, the more it seems to be thicker/stronger/darker. In addition, hair is only alive in the scalp, or under the skin, so cutting it off does nothing to affect its growth.
(please note: I am talking about SHAVING, not waxing or laser hair removal which damage the hair follicle itself...)

8 - Reading in low light / candle light will damage your eyes / make you go blind:

This one is actually common to most countries I have lived in.

In essence, what people are affirming is that everyone had really poor eyesight / or were blind before the lightbulb was invented.

Another one I think is glaringly obvious, but if you really need to be convinced, Enlighten Yourself.

The links I have included were just the first link of MANY given in a really fast Google search. If I was to dig deeper (i.e.: click on a couple of more search results), there is lots more subject matter out there to bust these myths.
I really appreciate good discussions on all subjects, but I would prefer not to see comments along the lines of "Well... you're wrong, because I once heard of a friend of a cousin who read in the newspaper a story about a news bulletin which referred to a second hand recount of an experience someone else had, so it must be true, and.. and... well... you're just wrong..." If you have scientific evidence to prove any of this wrong, I will happily update this post, and include any corrections credited to you.

Blast from the Past

2009-05-07T19:14:00.003+01:00

Anyone remember this guy?

I'll give you a hint: "I from Barcelona... I know nothing...." Well... lets refresh your memory...

Born: Andreas Siegfried Sachs
Date of Birth: 07 April, 1930 — Andrew Sachs shares a birthday with Jackie Chan, Francis Ford Coppola and James Garner.
Place of Birth: Berlin, Germany

Andrew Sachs fled to England from Germany with his family when he was aged eight. His family had been planning to emigrate anyway when his father was arrested one night shortly before Kristallnacht. He was later released but the threats to a Jewish family in a Germany under the Nazis were too much so they fled to England.

He played Manuel in the hit series "Fawlty Towers"

cool...

Also, according to BroadcastNow:

"The cast of Fawlty Towers have been reunited for the first time in 30 years.

The four main stars of the show got together for the launch of two special programmes, which look back on the classic sitcom.

John Cleese, Andrew Sachs, Connie Booth and Prunella Scales all contributed to the new shows, which will air on digital channel G.O.L.D later this month.

In one of the programmes John Cleese revealed that the show very nearly didn't get made after it was branded "dire" by someone who worked at the BBC.

Fawlty Towers ran for only 12 episodes and two series. It is widely regarded as one of the best sitcoms ever made.

Fawlty Towers: Re-opened and Fawlty Exclusive: Basil's Best Bits air on G.O.L.D on 10 and 17 May respectively at 9pm."

YAY!!!

Festival of the flesh

2009-05-07T18:52:00.004+01:00

This weekend, I went to the Estoril Open as a "VIP" guest.

Being a VIP, I thought I would be treated to proportionally Very Important Treatment.

Instead, inside the ominous VIP tent, there were ample leather sofas, free drinks at the bar and scantily clad, heavily bosomed females.

Now, I do enjoy appreciating the female form as much as anyone else, but all this flesh smacked of soulless exploitation of the girls hired by each of the companies to represent them. Nothing against the girls who were there, but my first thought was that the brain to boob mass in the tent was very low indeed.

One thing I must comment on: Outside the VIP Tent, there were a lot of fun activities going on, like playing virtual tennis with a rudimentary Wii-like tennis racket, a fairly difficult "catch the black ball" game, where the prizes were gigantic tennis balls, plus a myriad of shops giving out samples of their wines, cheeses & smoked meats.

So next time, I know...

If I want to spend the afternoon looking at boobs, I'll go VIP. If I want to spend the afternoon having a laugh, I won't go VIP.

Basics you should know about the PS3

2008-12-30T16:27:00.003Z

1 - Touch-sensitive power and eject buttons
The eject and power on buttons on the face of the PS3 are touch sensitive, and very responsive. (Also, at the back, theres a "Cold" power off switch, for when you absolutely positively hafta take out every last PS3 in the room.... accept no substitute)

2 - Not all games are 1080p
Although the hardware is capable of delivering 1080p at 60 frames per second, most games available now only support 720p. BONUS: If you watch a DVD movie, the PS3 will upscale it, so it'll look a little nicer on your LCD.

3 - A PSP can connect via Wi-Fi to the PS3’s hard drive
For example, you can use the PSP as a rear-view mirror in Gran Turismo, or to access the PS3’s system menus wirelessly, using a feature called “Remote Play.”

4 - The Dualshock 3 controller gets about 20 - 24 hours of battery life
Bad part about this - There's no easy way to substitute the internal battery. (Ass soon as my warranty finishes, I'm gonna bust open that Dualshock 3 and post about how to do this)
BONUS: Although there's no charge indicator on the pad itself, it appears on screen during games. Press and hold the PS button on any joypad and an indicator will appear, showing your pad's charge as a small battery. A full battery pic means a fully-charged pad. Yay.

5 - Redownload all your online games to someone else’s PS3
This seems great, but be aware that you can only download the games a total of five times. (And remeber.... if you format the HDD to install Linux, you can't backup these games.... so you'll lose one of the download points.)

6 - Play games from any country
Although Sony doesn't really want you to know this, PS3 games aren't region coded. Hooray for Asian imports!!!
(Watch out... this only applies to GAMES. Blu-Ray movies are usually region locked, and won't play on different regions)

7 - The secret video reset
If you want to use your PS3 on another T.V. which doesnt support the resolutions you were using, nothing will show on the screen. How do you reset the settings?
Shut down your PS3 then restart by pressing and holding the power button.This will reset your PS3 to its most basic 480p graphics mode so you'll be able to see enough to choose RGB SCART, component, HDMI or whatever from here.

8 - VOIP
You will need a USB headset, and an EyeToy camera. Plug in both via USB then go to your Friends menu. Choose a friend you've signed up earlier and press Triangle. Choose Start New Chat and type a message. Something like 'Videochat?' should do the trick. Now, providing they're in front of their powered-up PS3 then they'll see your message and be given the option to accept your videochat.
Now, provided they too have a camera and headset, two windows will open, one showing you (so you can make sure you're looking your best), the other displaying your mate. Best of all you can hit Triangle again and invite more people to join your chat - up to a maximum of six. And the cost? ZERO

9 - Upgrade your hard drive
My PS3 came with an 80GB HDD. I bought a LaCie 320GB 2.5" external HDD, and swapped the disks. Now I have 320GB in my PS3, and and external 80GB HDD, which I can also use on my PS3 via USB to transfer files. Do a search on Youtube for "Replace ps3 hdd" It takes about 5 mins, from start to finish. All you need is a small philips (star) screwdriver.

10 - Force a PS3 to show your files
Put your photos in a folder called 'PICTURE' or your videos in a folder called 'VIDEO' or simply *force* your PS3 to look at your files on your stick regardless of what you called them or where you put them. Insert your stick and go to the menu option you want (Photos, Music, whatever). PressTriangle to bring up a menu and choose Display All.
This will show every file on the stick. It even works for a plugged-in iPod, though the multi-folder structure you'll reveal is a bit baffling. Still, your songs are in there if you've got the patience to find them.

11 - Change your album art
When you import a music CD your PS3 automatically pulls down the album art and stores it with the tracks. Occasionally it gets it wrong, however, or it may simply not be able to find the art of your hipper, less commercial tracks. This is easily fixed however.
Download a pic of the art you need as a jpg on your PC and put it onto a stick (in a folder called PICTURE, ideally). Copy it to your Photo menu (press Triangle). Now go to Music and select the album folder with the offending art. Press Triangle and select Information. Go to the Photo menu and select your new picture. Bingo.

12 - Crack your PS3
Sorry... This isn't possible yet.
The most you can do is play Ripped PS1/2 games on SOME PS3 models. (Do a search)
The closest you can get is to install Linux, and emulators.
I upgraded from a modded Xbox, and therefore I have Emulators for: Sega (Master system, mega drive, CD32, Game Gear), Nintendo (Gameboy XXX, NES, SNES, N64), Commodore 64, Amstrad xxx, Spectrum xxx, MAME etc. In total, I think it comes to about 8.000 games. :D

13 - (Last minute addition) Lightguns
At the moment, there is only one game on the PS3 which uses a lightgun: Time Crisis 4.
Problem: It comes bundled with the lightgun, and you can't "officially" purchase the lightgun separately. So player 2 has to use the Dualshock 3.
Solution: Search ebay for ex-demo models. Theyre about a third of the price. Perfect for when you want two player action.
BONUS: On modern LCD's, normal lightgun technology won't work. The PS3 lightgun uses two LED modules, placed either corner of your LCD to detect the guns aiming.

How to track UPS packages via email

2008-12-30T15:34:00.003Z

Heres a quick little piece of information.

If you want to track a package sent through UPS quickly, send an email to the addresses below, and enter the UPS tracking number in the subject line of the e-mail or in the body of the message.

For Customers in the United States:
E-mail UPS tracking numbers to: totaltrack@ups.com

For Customers Outside of the United States:
E-mail your UPS tracking numbers to: totaltrack.gb-eng@ups.com

Wishlist - HDD

2008-12-29T15:26:00.002Z

Imagine a Hard Drive which uses DDR RAM instead of standard magnetic platters. 1100 nanoseconds read, and 250 nanoseconds write, and is around 6 times faster than a RAID of WD Raptors.

:D

Mmmmmm...... extreme power...

From the manufacturers site:

"A good hard disk can do around 40,000 stops and starts at 40 degrees centigrade (Hitachi/IBM Deskstar 180GXP). The HyperDrive4 doesn't mind how many stops and starts it does because it has no moving parts.

XP installs on a HyperDrive4 in around 7 minutes, rather than the 40 minutes that it takes to install on a Hard Disk. The limitation is the CDROM drive speed not the HyperDrive speed!
It fires up Windows XP in 2-3 seconds from the splash screen to the desktop with nForce4/5 Mobos. So it is “instant on” and has an “instant desktop”. The limitation here is the polling response time of your hardware and timing delays in some device drivers not the HyperDrive.

Vast performance increases are seen for IO intensive applications such a Graphics, Games, Audio processing, Video processing, large Databases, and large Spreadsheets etc. You can run Windows, your applications and your data all on the HyperDrive4 or use the HyperDrive4 as an extremely fast scratch disk.

Since the HD4 has no gramophone style disk head, it can service 125 people on a Network (performing 125 IO operations) in the time that a conventional HDD takes to service one person (performing one IO operation). The Head of a HDD can only be in one place at once. The HD4 uses Random Access Memory and so can find 8000 pieces of data in the time that a HDD finds one piece of data by moving its head backwards and forwards and by whirring its disk platter round and round"

Read more details here.

Well.... one more to add to my "If I win the Euromillions" wishlist...

U.S.B. 3.0 - Need the speed?

2008-12-29T10:08:00.002Z

"We've been hearing about it for years, and now it's finally happening: There's a new version of USB on the way, and it's going to be ten times faster than its predecessor. Launching next Monday is USB 3.0, and the good news is that it's backward-compatible with our old friend, USB 2.0. You can see the two new plugs above, with the one on top the standard USB 3.0 plug that will fit in current USB sockets, and the smaller one pictured underneath destined for portable devices such as cell phones and music players."

Read all about it.

more pics

2008-12-29T09:58:00.005Z

Why are you rich?

2008-11-14T18:50:00.002Z

Wealth is the ability to fully experience life.
- Henry David Thoreau

You didn’t go to sleep hungry last night.
You didn’t go to sleep outside.
You had a choice of what clothes to wear this morning.
You hardly broke a sweat today.
You didn’t spend a minute in fear.
You have access to clean drinking water.
You have access to medical care.
You have access to the Internet.
You can read.
You have the right to vote.

Swimming in your Syrup

2008-09-18T19:22:00.003+01:00

Cousins?

2008-09-12T20:08:00.002+01:00

Couple more piks

2008-09-12T03:00:00.003+01:00

Can't silence the masses

2008-09-12T00:51:00.003+01:00

Morello and De la Rocha fight the power after their gig was shut down at a protest gig at the Republican National Convention.

Oh yeah....

Just a quick thought

2008-09-12T00:07:00.005+01:00

An image is worth a thousand laughs...

Reminder of the day

2008-09-11T00:31:00.002+01:00

Never Forget 9/11.

Religion

was the cause.

Dark Humour

2008-08-31T16:10:00.004+01:00

Simple thoughts

2008-08-31T12:24:00.004+01:00

Back when I was a kid, I remember asking "How do you explain these passages?"

The answer invariably being "Well... you can't take these passages literally..."

My second question would be "Well, who decides what is to be taken literally or not? Who has the power to change the meaning of the words of a god? And how do we know what percentage of the bible is literal or not?"

I would never get an answer from that, but it did make me realise that people who are supposedly graduated in religion, don't think for themselves, are very very scared, and don't really read the bible.

When I was twelve, I stopped asking these questions, because I saw it made people so unconfortable.

===

Deut 25:11-12 - If men get into a fight with one another, and the wife of one intervenes to rescue her husband from the grip of his opponent by reaching out and seizing his genitals, 12you shall cut off her hand; show no pity.

Gen 38:8-10 - Then Judah said to Onan, ‘Go in to your brother’s wife and perform the duty of a brother-in-law to her; raise up offspring for your brother.’ But since Onan knew that the offspring would not be his, he spilled his semen on the ground whenever he went in to his brother’s wife, so that he would not give offspring to his brother. What he did was displeasing in the sight of the Lord, and he put him to death also.

Deut 21:18-21 - Rebellious Children - If someone has a stubborn and rebellious son who will not obey his father and mother, who does not heed them when they discipline him, then his father and his mother shall take hold of him and bring him out to the elders of his town at the gate of that place. They shall say to the elders of his town, ‘This son of ours is stubborn and rebellious. He will not obey us. He is a glutton and a drunkard.’ Then all the men of the town shall stone him to death. So you shall purge the evil from your midst; and all Israel will hear, and be afraid.

Ex 35:2 - For six days shall work be done, but on the seventh day you shall have a holy sabbath of solemn rest to the Lord; whoever does any work on it shall be put to death.

Lev 20:13 - If a man lies with a male as with a woman, both of them have committed an abomination; they shall be put to death; their blood is upon them.

Isaiah 13:13-16 - Therefore I will make the heavens tremble,
and the earth will be shaken out of its place,
at the wrath of the Lord of hosts
on the day of his fierce anger.
Like a hunted gazelle,
or like sheep with no one to gather them,
all will turn to their own people,
and all will flee to their own lands.
Whoever is found will be thrust through,
and whoever is caught will fall by the sword.
Their infants will be dashed to pieces
before their eyes;
their houses will be plundered,
and their wives ravished.

Tim 2:11-12 - Let a woman or wife learn in silence with full submission. I permit no woman or wife to teach or to have authority over a man; she is to keep silent.

Luke 14:26 - Whoever comes to me and does not hate father and mother, wife and children, brothers and sisters, yes, and even life itself, cannot be my disciple.

===

I remember one of my teachers trying to profess that last one from luke.
:D T'was utter slaughter as he mind-F#&%ED a class full of ten year olds.

In a nutshell

2008-08-29T01:07:00.003+01:00

One more to ignore

2008-07-18T01:45:00.001+01:00

What billionaire would I be

2008-07-18T01:20:00.001+01:00

What would you do with your money?

Wurdz of Wisdumb

2008-07-18T01:07:00.002+01:00

Another one

2008-07-18T01:01:00.004+01:00

Check Out Natalie Dee.

WOW

2008-07-18T00:53:00.003+01:00

Bob Marley's using an acustic guitar...

Rok-Star Piks

2008-07-18T00:47:00.003+01:00

More HERE.

George Carlin - He's more powerful than you can ever imagine

2008-06-26T15:03:00.003+01:00

George Denis Patrick Carlin (May 12, 1937–June 22, 2008)was an American stand-up comedian, actor and author who won four Grammy Awards for his comedy albums.

Carlin was especially noted for his political and black humor and his observations on language, psychology, and religion along with many taboo subjects. Carlin and his "Seven Dirty Words" comedy routine were central to the 1978 U.S. Supreme Court case F.C.C. v. Pacifica Foundation, in which a narrow 5–4 decision by the justices affirmed the government's right to regulate "indecent" material on the public airwaves.

In the 2000s, Carlin's stand-up routines focused on the flaws in modern-day America. He often took on contemporary political issues in the United States and satirized the excesses of American culture.

He placed second on the Comedy Central cable television network list of the 10 greatest stand-up comedians, ahead of Lenny Bruce and behind Richard Pryor.[21] He was a frequent performer and guest host on The Tonight Show during the three-decade Johnny Carson era, and was also the first person to host Saturday Night Live.

...
Although raised in the Roman Catholic faith, Carlin often denounced the idea of God in interviews and performances, most notably with his "Invisible Man in the Sky" and "There Is No God" routines. In mockery, he invented the parody religion Frisbeetarianism for a newspaper contest. He defined it as the belief that when a person dies "his soul gets flung onto a roof, and just stays there", and cannot be retrieved.

Carlin also joked that he worshipped the Sun, because he could actually see it, but prayed to Joe Pesci (a good friend of his in real life) because "he's a good actor", and "looks like a guy who can get things done!"

Carlin also introduced the "Two Commandments", a revised "pocket-sized" list of the Ten Commandments in his HBO special Complaints and Grievances, ending with the additional commandment of "Thou shalt keep thy religion to thyself.

From: Wikipedia
...

Here are three of my favourite sketches:

On Religion:

10 Commandments:

7 Dirty Words:

Enjoy the rooftop!

Jim Henson

2008-06-17T22:54:00.001+01:00

Ahhh... great....

Pikz

2008-06-15T23:20:00.005+01:00

Malawi Sundowner

2008-06-15T22:53:00.004+01:00

Alcoholic Version:
1 Shot Blackberry Juice
4 Shots Rum
15 Ice Cubes
Ginger Shavings

Blend liquids and ice in a cooled mixer, serve in a long glass, topped with ginger shavings.

Non-Alcoholic Version:
1 Shot blackberry juice
Rind of 1/2 Lime
2cm Piece of Ginger
Dash of All-Spice
15 Ice Cubes

Blend all ingredients in a cooled mixer, serve in a long glass, topped with ginger shavings.

Enjoy!

Portuguese instruments, anybody?

2008-06-15T22:49:00.002+01:00

Geekness

2008-06-15T22:39:00.003+01:00

If I have more kids, I am going to call them Ctrl, Alt and Delete. Then if they muck up i will just hit them all at once.

I wish my lawn was emo so it would cut itself.

If my hand could get pregnant, today I would be the father and founder of the third global superpower.

If a man makes a statement in a forest, and there's no woman there to hear it, is he still wrong?

Duct tape is like ‘the force, it has a dark side, a light side and it holds the universe together

That Jesus Christ guy is getting some terrible lag... it took him 3 days to respawn!

One of those mails

2008-06-08T15:20:00.001+01:00

                     NERDS vs JOCKS

   In answer to the eternal question "Is it better to be
    a jock or a nerd?" I submit the following:

    Michael Jordan will make over $300,000 a game:
    $10,000 a minute, assuming he averages about 30
    minutes per game.

     Assuming $40 million in endorsements next year, he'll
     be making $178,100 a day (working or not)!

     Assuming he sleeps 7 hours a night, he makes $52,000
     every night while visions of sugarplums dance in his
     head.

     If he goes to see a movie, it'll cost him $7.00, but
     he'll make $18,550 while he's there.

     If he decides to have a 5 minute egg, he'll make $618
     while boiling it.

     He makes $7,415/hr more than minimum wage (after the
     wage hike)

     He'll make $3,710 while watching each episode of
     Friends.

    If he wanted to save up for a new Acura NSX ($90,000)
    it would take him a whole 12 hours.

     If someone were to hand him his salary and endorsement
     money, they would have to do it at the rate of $2.00
    every second.

     He'll probably pay around $200 for a nice round of
     golf, but will be `reimbursed' $33,390 for that
     round.

     Assuming he puts the federal maximum of 15% of his
     income into his tax deferred account (401k), he will
    hit the federal cap of $9500 for such accounts at
     8:30 a.m. on January 1st, 1997.

     If you were given a tenth of a penny for every dollar
    he made, you'd be living comfortably at $65,000 a
     year.

     He'll make about $19.60 while watching the 100 meter
     dash in the Olympics.He'll make about $15,600 while
     the Boston Marathon is being run.

     While the common person is spending about $20 for a
     meal in his trendy Chicago restaurant, he'll pull in
     about $5600.

     Next year, he'll make more than twice as much as all
     of our past presidents for all of their terms
     combined.

     Amazing isn't it? BUT:

     JORDAN WILL HAVE TO SAVE 100% OF HIS INCOME FOR 270
     YEARS TO HAVE A NET WORTH EQUIVALENT TO THAT OF BILL
     GATES.

     NERDS RULE! NERDS RULE! NERDS RULE!

Thought of the week

2008-05-23T20:00:00.003+01:00

If voting
really changed
anything tangible or real
in this world,
it would be illegal....

Pretty Hate Machine

2008-05-23T01:31:00.004+01:00

I don't leave tips.
I dont donate money.
I don't give cigarettes to homeless people.
I don't give coins to drug addicts who think theyre helping me park my car.
I don't have an account where the bank deposits 0.5% of my salary into a charities account.
I don't fill a grocery bag with food and hand it to the hunger charity waiting at the back of the supermarket.
Even when I lived in africa (where people have REAL problems) I never gave out money or change to anyone, no matter how bad the situation looked.
I don't have 50 sites in my favourites where for each click or advert I view, they send off a grain of rice or a shotglass of water down to africa, or across the ocean to wherever the latest hurricane or earthquake hit.

I dont, because I dont believe that doing any of those things will actually work in making the situations better. Also, all the major money making companies and governments turn a blind eye to all those things, and hide this fact by telling people they can donate their money, in order to feel better about themselves....

I was at the shops last week, and of the 5 things I went in to buy, 3 of them had big yellow and red stickers on them, saying something to the tune of:

"For every one of these yoghurts/bottles of juice/packets of tea you buy, we will donate 5/10/20 cents to the save the childeren/heart/cancer/animal protection institute."

Ok.

The companies selling these goods are not going to put in an extra 10 cents for every bog roll/kilo of lettuce/sack of kitty litter I buy.

Therefore, they add it on top of their price.

WHICH MEANS I'M PAYING TO DONATE TO A CHARITY THAT I DIDNT CHOOSE... and that I didnt want to donate to in the first place...

From now on, any product that mentions it'll give 10 cents over to a (insert charity organisation, humanitarian group or medical investigation institute here) I'm boycotting.

AMAZINGLY SIMPLE HOME REMEDIES

2008-05-22T14:34:00.002+01:00

1. IF YOU'RE CHOKING ON AN ICE CUBE, SIMPLY POUR A CUP OF BOILING WATER DOWN YOUR THROAT. PRESTO! THE BLOCKAGE WILL INSTANTLY REMOVE ITSELF.

2. AVOID CUTTING YOURSELF WHEN SLICING VEGETABLES BY GETTING SOMEONE ELSE TO HOLD THE VEGETABLES WHILE YOU CHOP.

3. AVOID ARGUMENTS ABOUT THE TOILET SEAT - USE THE SINK.

4. FOR HIGH BLOOD PRESSURE SUFFERERS ~ SIMPLY CUT YOURSELF AND BLEED FOR A FEW MINUTES, THUS REDUCING THE PRESSURE ON YOUR VEINS. REMEMBER TO USE A TIMER.

5. A MOUSE TRAP PLACED ON TOP OF YOUR ALARM CLOCK WILL PREVENT YOU FROM ROLLING OVER AND GOING BACK TO SLEEP AFTER YOU HIT THE SNOOZE BUTTON.

6. IF YOU HAVE A BAD COUGH, TAKE A LARGE DOSE OF LAXATIVES. THEN YOU'LL BE AFRAID TO COUGH.

7. YOU ONLY NEED TWO TOOLS IN LIFE - WD-40 AND DUCT TAPE. IF IT DOESN'T MOVE AND SHOULD, USE THE WD-40. IF IT SHOULDN'T MOVE AND DOES, USE THE DUCT TAPE.

8. REMEMBER - EVERYONE SEEMS NORMAL UNTIL YOU GET TO KNOW THEM.

9. IF YOU CAN'T FIX IT WITH A HAMMER, YOU'VE GOT AN ELECTRICAL PROBLEM.

DAILY THOUGHT: SOME PEOPLE ARE LIKE SLINKIES - NOT REALLY GOOD FOR ANYTHING, BUT THEY BRING A SMILE TO YOUR FACE WHEN PUSHED DOWN THE STAIRS.

What I’ve learnt in my 10 years in IT in Africa and Europe: Part 1

2008-04-17T11:23:00.004+01:00

- The fastest way to push the “ipconfig /release, ipconfig /renew” commands to 150 machines? Power-cycle the building.

- No matter how much you tell them otherwise, users think:
A – You have the "power" to break into their computer, anywhere in the world, whether it’s connected to the internet or not, and check out their “My Pictures” folder, or go through their inbox and find that email where they slagged off their boss, cheated on their spouse, or ordered a vibrator online.
B – They are actually interesting enough to make you actually want to
C – You have enough spare time to do this

- How to remember the difference between Raid-0 and Raid-1? The number tells you how many files you’re going to recover if anything goes wrong.

- The user always lies.

- The simplest way to make a user think you’re a god? Clean their mouse rollers…

- Always, always, always, always, always keep those old files that you think you’ll never need again. Double the number of "always" for files on a corporate network.

- Google is your friend. You know this. Amazingly, 89% of users do not know this. The other 11% don’t know what the URL for google.com is. By the way… why don’t you try googling for: “JFGI”

- Users will get angry at YOU if any of THEIR hardware or software fails. If their hard drive fails, it will be tantamount to you having deleted their identity. Even if they keep their fridge magnet collection stuck to their HDD.

- The user always lies.

- Hardware fails unpredictably. I have seen a 15 second old 500GB Hard drive fail, but I have also seen a 15 year old 2GB hard drive that’s still working. Deal with it, users, or make backups.

- If you check cables under a user’s desk who is wearing a skirt, they will invariably look at you strangely for the rest of the week.

- Users will listen in awe and wonder as you explain why they need to connect the mouse plug to the mouse port, and the keyboard plug to the keyboard port, and the reasoning behind the colour coding, and why things wont work if they plug them in the wrong way. Users will think you’re insulting their intelligence if you suggest they use Google.

- I have learnt how to deploy Domains and clusters, install linux on an Xbox, a wireless router, and my MP3 player. I will never learn to be able to use Microsoft Word. (Yeah… try aligning multiple indented tables…)

- Most secure way of backing up 3.6GB of pictures to a DVD? Use WinRAR, Best compression, 10% recovery record, 100MB volumes, with 3 recovery volumes. You could almost drill holes through the DVD and still get your files back.

- The user always lies

- Never use Micro$osft products unitil at LEAST SP1

- You want Something? Ok, then. Quickly, Cheap, Good. Choose two. You want all three? Nah... only do that for myself...

- It took me about 10 years to learn how to break into peoples computers, and check their emails and My Pictures folders.

Might take a little while...

2008-04-16T18:25:00.002+01:00

Answers to comments section

Ranting and raving again

2008-04-16T18:07:00.003+01:00

Yeah... i'm still on that same subject...

But it's a different blog!

Good ideas are all over the place

2008-04-11T17:25:00.002+01:00

Live and let learn...

2008-04-11T17:06:00.004+01:00

Friends are a great thing to have

2008-03-25T09:52:00.001Z

'Hello, is this the Sheriff's Office?'

'Yes. What can I do for you?'

'I'm calling to report 'bout my neighbor Virgil Smith....He's hidin' marijuana inside his firewood! Don't quite know how he gets it inside them logs, but he's hidin' it there.'

'Thank you very much for the call, sir.'

The next day, the Sheriff's Deputies descend on Virgil's house. They search the shed where the firewood is kept. Using axes, they bust open every piece of wood, but find no marijuana. They sneer at Virgil and leave.

Shortly, the phone rings at Virgil's house.

'Hey, Virgil! This here's Floyd....Did the Sheriff come?'

'Yeah!'

'Did they chop your firewood?'

'Yep!'

'Happy Birthday, buddy!'

Love at first Fight...

2008-03-25T09:36:00.001Z

It's always the little things...

2008-03-25T09:28:00.003Z

Different Strokes...

2008-03-25T09:23:00.002Z

Winters over

2008-03-23T17:14:00.002Z

wuhu...

Ruby Rocket

2008-03-23T16:40:00.002Z

Dependable?

2008-03-23T16:12:00.001Z

Nirvana 2008

2008-03-21T14:55:00.002Z

The Blues

2008-03-20T15:33:00.003Z

Blue eyes contain low amounts of melanin within the iris stroma; longer wavelengths of light tend to be absorbed by the underlying iris pigment epithelium, and shorter wavelengths are reflected and undergo Rayleigh scattering. The type of melanin present is eumelanin. The inheritance pattern followed by blue eyes is considered similar to that of a recessive trait, however it is a polygenic trait ( meaning that it is controlled by the interactions of several genes, not just one). Eiberg and colleagues showed in a study published in Human Genetics that a mutation in the 86th intron of the HERC2 gene, which is hypothesized to interact with the OCA2 gene promoter, reduced expression of OCA2 with subsequent reduction in melanin production.

The authors concluded that the mutation may have arisen in a single individual around the Black Sea region 6,000-10,000 years ago, except blue eyes with brown spots around the pupil who are not related to this mutation.

Blue eyes are mostly common throughout Northern and less in Eastern Europe. One survey estimated that nearly 90% of Icelanders have blue or green eyes. Blue eyes are common in Germany, Netherlands, Iceland, Austria, Sweden, Norway, Denmark, Finland, and Estonia. ^[43] They are also present in Southern Europe and rarely in India and in some population of Central Asia and Middle East especially in lebanon. They are seen as a common trait among the Pashtun and tajik community in the North, and East of Afghanistan. A 2002 study found the prevalence of blue eye color among Whites in the United States to be 33.8% for those born between 1936 and 1951 compared to 57.4% for those born between 1899 and 1905.

As melanin production generally increases during the first few years of life (especially if exposed to the sun), the blue eyes of some babies may darken as they get older.

^{In Wikipedia}

The reason I want to see cloverfield this year

2008-01-13T22:30:00.000Z

Lotsa pics

2008-01-13T22:22:00.000Z

This is literally a Youtube Video

2008-01-13T22:20:00.000Z

People are assholes.... or are they made that way?

2008-01-13T22:07:00.000Z

When I was 15 years old, I developed a crush on one of my best guy friends. He was oblivious and his failure to pick up on any of my signals caused me great distress. Teenage girls can often become overwhelmed with frustration and one day, while hanging out with this boy, I suddenly wailed:

“Why do you always make me feel so bad?”

My comment came completely out of the blue and I’m sure he had no idea what I was talking about. However, without missing a beat, he replied, “I only have as much power as you give me.”

Taken aback, my graceful, articulate response was simply, “Huh?”

Violent Acres' article makes for some interesting reading...

Welll... christmas is over... for now...

2008-01-13T22:05:00.001Z

Tampax have announced that they are to stop using the little bits of string and will replace them with little bits of tinsel.

but only for the Christmas Period.

Christmas is over

2008-01-13T22:04:00.001Z

Some Pics

2008-01-13T20:56:00.001Z

Coupla David Lynch Movies I found

2008-01-13T20:40:00.000Z

The Alphabet. This is David Lynch's first film - based on a dream by the young sister of his then girlfriend. Make sure you watch to the end as the very last scene if horrifying. I promise you will have nightmares after watching this. A final note: Lynch’s girlfriend is the singer.

The Rabbits. Starring the gorgeous ladies from Mullholand Drive, (Naomi Watts, and Laura Harring), the Rabbits is a short excerpt from Lynch’s latest film Inland Empire. Nonsense dialogue, minimalist sets, and eerie music make this a truly unusual experience.
Just click on the video to see the other episodes...

Some Star Wars Moments

2008-01-13T20:28:00.000Z

Kenny Gilmore and the Sangalala Band

2007-11-03T13:43:00.000Z

Quoting Websters:

English Translation for: sangalala
Chewa: be glad, to rejoice.
Doe: become cheerful.

Well, this is a blast from the past.

One of my best buds from Malawi just sent me a message over facebook, and I found out he had a band in Malawi, and they've cut an album.

The band's name is Sangalala (Check out their myspace page)

Kenny is the lead singer and plays the harmonica, along with Patrick Anadi on Lead Guitar, Felix Jere on Bass, African Percussion is beat out by Steve Mthume, Modern Percussion by Madalitso, Keyboard and vocals Charles Foster, and last but not least Peter Phiri on the horn.

They played at the Lake of Stars music festival, and here's an excerpt from Kenny's blog:

"Still feelin the buzz after the lake of stars, who could ask for a better location than the Northen Lake shore of Malawi. Many thanks to all those who spoke to me and to the boys afterwards, it was great to meet you all and I hope we will one day make it to play in your home countries. I'm trying to put together a little library of photos from the lake of stars so if you have any you want to send me it's kennygilmore@emailaccount.com zikomo kwambiri! If any of you have any questions about the music we play, and our current schedule in Malawi feel free to ask. I would like to post a short movie clip on the site I am talking to TV Malawi about it..so watch this space! love to all - Kenny.."

Also, the Lake of Stars website had this to say about the band:
"...and not forgetting the amazing Kenny Gilmore and his Sangalala band stole the show from the Malawian side of things..."

Last year he was interviewed by Xan Philips, and here's a couple of lines from his site, and the interview itself:

"When Kenny Gilmore visited the UK in 2006 Xan Phillips interviewed him about the band, music in Malawi and the influences behind their latest album ‘Ngati Mafunde Mafunde’.
The conversation is interspersed with three tracks: Musade Nkawa, Ngati Mafunde and Phwando.
"

Look out from some great harmonica sounds, a bit of Chichewa, and a bunch of laughs.

Ubwino.org recount a party at Doogles for Saint Patrick's day this year:

"Kenny G started off the entertainment getting everyone in the mood with originals such as ngate mafunde and cover versions such as ‘Brown eyed girl' by well known Irish singer Van Morrison. The crowd went wild - especially the girls, when shirtless Kenny strutted his powerful stuff!"

He has a couple of videos uploaded. The music is great, yes. But kudos also go to the video production.. you can see a lot of effort went into the videos, and they show the band just basically having so much fun!! Also, beautiful Malawi is nicely depicted, and every 10 seconds, I'd be going "geeez... I remeber that (house, beach, mountain, bridge)"

Here are a couple:(I'll start with one of my favourites)
"Ngati Mafunde"

And now we have Kenny scaring some girls on a beach in "Malawian Queen"

(And just to even things out a bit, here's one I dug up by Kenny himself...)
"Darkest Hour"

He is currently living in manchester, where he still performs, writes and records.

After a little bit of searching, I found out a little about what he's got planned, from Gumtree.com. Check it out, and let Kenny know if you can help out, or recommend a friend!

Translatory Liberation

2007-10-30T21:40:00.000Z

Take a healthy serving of:

Harmonizar o projecto para que a Praça tenha uma conjugação perfeita entre o cheiro do verde e das flores, o som da água a circular e em queda e a companhia de passarinhos

Add a little of this, a whole bunch of imagination, bake for 12 hours, and voliá:

Harmonize the project in a way that the square possesses a perfect blend of the sights and smells of the greenery and flowers and the sound of flowing and cascading water, all in the company of local bird species

Fake Blood

2007-10-28T18:23:00.000Z

I remember when I was a kid, trying to emulate all the blood in those early eighties splatter movies.

The easiest was to just use ketchup.

Then I discovered that dipping watermelon in strawberry jam was a great substitute for blood AND flesh. (And it tasted really good)

I f you want more ideas for making industrial quantities of fake blood, check out this article on Wikihow.

I vant... blodt!

One way Africa could beat poverty

2007-10-28T18:14:00.000Z

Africa is not a poor continent. Rather it is the people who are. The continent has the largest world deposits of diamonds, gold, coal, copper and manganese. It has large deposits of minerals, huge reserves of crude oil and natural gas and vast forests, fisheries and land for agriculture and cattle ranching.

Africans rank among the poorest in the world in the midst of plenty for three main reasons. First, since the early days of colonialism, there has been incessant plunder and exploitation of Africa's resources by the developed world to the detriment of economic development in Africa.

Second, there is deliberate marginalisation of Africa in global financing, foreign direct investment and access to science and technological innovation that could have created new wealth for Africa.

In other words, African resources do not create new wealth or employment in Africa because they are not processed on the continent but are shipped to the industrialised countries in raw form.

And finally, most African governments have, so far, not taken concrete action to ensure that we change globalisation system in our favour.

We have not developed home grown strategies to deal with our specific situations. In most cases, we have depended on "surrogate economists" to advise us and ended up with wrong diagnoses, wrong prescriptions and hence wrong results.

Africa must agree on economic strategies and technological innovations that are tailored to respond to the challenges of poverty alleviation and help to bridge the "technology divide" between industrialised and developing nations.

These measures must prevent the existence of extreme poverty amidst abundant wealth; hunger and malnutrition amidst food surpluses; diseases and death amidst breakthroughs in medical and health sciences; and ignorance amidst phenomenal advancements in information and communications technology.

Malawi is responding to the challenge of poverty through a variety of measures including implementing its home grown strategies and taking full ownership of its economy and desti
ny.

Written by Malawi's current President, Bingo wa Mutharika. Read the rest of it here.

Banish TV's to limbo

2007-10-28T18:11:00.000Z

Tired of all those LCD TVs everywhere?
Want a break from advertisements while you're trying to eat?
Want to zap screens from across the street?

The TV-B-Gone kit is what you need! This ultra-high-power version of the popular TV-B-Gone is fun to make and even more fun to use.

I think this would be soooo popular in Portugal.... where EVERYBODY loves football.

They even have it in a nice little kit.

DarkAlex releases universal PSP unbricker

2007-10-28T17:54:00.000Z

Although this was made to unbrick your PSP, it can be used to "crack" any version to be able to play Homebrew apps, and "backups" of your original games.

Get the files and readme HERE. I have cracked 2 PSP's using this method, so yes, it does work.

Note: DAX (Dark Alex) is spanish. Just so you know....

Amazing Brain

2007-10-24T01:16:00.000+01:00

We all have a little something like this inside us.

Biblical WTF

2007-10-17T01:13:00.000+01:00

These crazy germans

2007-10-17T00:59:00.001+01:00

If you have the originals, you can make a copy for yourself

2007-10-17T00:20:00.001+01:00

Films

Futurama

Full Metal Alchemist - A great Anime series

Studio Ghibli

Comics

Music

Kinda makes sense

2007-10-17T00:18:00.000+01:00

Slash backing Sex Pistols comeback

2007-10-17T00:01:00.000+01:00

Former Guns'N Roses guitarist Slash has backed the campaign to get Sex Pistols' 'God Save The Queen' to Number One.

NME.COM is campaigning to send the record to Number One next week after it was cheated out of the top spot back in 1977.

'God Save The Queen' was denied its rightful place at Number One because the authorities feared the punk anthem would spoil the Queen's Silver Jubilee celebrations 30 years ago.

Read it over at NME

Killing Zombies FAQ

2007-10-16T23:49:00.001+01:00

Slo-mo

2007-10-14T23:30:00.000+01:00

Randomness

2007-10-14T23:20:00.002+01:00

Ah, right...

2007-10-14T23:20:00.001+01:00

Eye on africa

2007-10-14T23:14:00.000+01:00

Thirty years of Africa images, selected by Sebastião Salgado, who is one the most respected photojournalists working today, his reputation forged by decades of dedication and powerful black and white images of dispossessed and distressed people taken in places where most wouldn’t dare to go.

Although he has photographed throughout South America and around the globe, his work most heavily concentrates on Africa, where he has shot more than 40 reportage works over a period of 30 years. From the Dinka tribes in Sudan and the Himba in Namibia to gorillas and volcanoes in the lakes region to displaced peoples throughout the continent, Salgado shows us all facets of African life today.

Whether he’s documenting refugees or vast landscapes, Salgado knows exactly how to grab the essence of a moment so that when one sees his images one is involuntarily drawn into them. His images artfully teach us the disastrous effects of war, poverty, disease, and hostile climatic conditions.

This book brings together Salgado’s photos of Africa in three parts. The first concentrates on the southern part of the continent (Mozambique, Malawi, Angola, Zimbabwe, South Africa, Namibia), the second on the Great Lakes region (Congo, Rwanda, Burundi, Uganda, Tanzania, Kenya), and the third on the Sub-Saharan region (Burkina Faso, Mali, Sudan, Somalia, Chad, Mauritania, Senegal, Ethiopia). Texts are provided by renowned Mozambique novelist Mia Couto, who describes how today’s Africa reflects the effects of colonization as well as the consequences of economic, social, and environmental crises.

Check out more at the Taschen store

No sex since when??

2007-10-14T23:06:00.000+01:00

A crusty old Marine Sergeant Major found himself at a gala event hosted by a local liberal arts college. There was no shortage of extremely young, idealistic ladies in attendance, one of whom approached the Sergeant Major for conversation.

"Excuse me, Sergeant Major, but you seem to be a very serious man. Is something bothering you?"

"Negative, ma'am. Just serious by nature."

The young lady looked at his awards and decorations and said, "It looks like you have seen a lot of action."

"Yes, ma'am, a lot of action."

The young lady, tiring of trying to start up a conversation, said, "You know, you should lighten up a little. Relax and enjoy yourself."

The Sergeant Major just stared at her in his serious manner.

Finally the young lady said, "You know, I hope you don't take this the wrong way, but when is the last time you had sex?"

"1955, ma'am."

"Well, there you are. You really need to chill out and quit taking everything so seriously! I mean, no sex since 1955! She took his hand and led him to a private room where she proceeded to "relax" him several times.

Afterwards, panting for breath, she leaned against his bare chest and said, "Wow, you sure didn't forget much since 1955!"

The Sergeant Major, glancing at his watch, said in his matter-of-fact voice,

"I hope not, it's only 2130 now."

Great laughs

2007-10-14T22:58:00.000+01:00

Been listening to Mitch Hedberg all week.
Laffin my ass off in the middle of traffic is cool. Here's a couple of lines from Mitch:

- My friend asked me if I wanted a frozen banana, I said "No, but I want a regular banana later, so, Yeah."

- The depressing thing about tennis is that no matter how good I get, I'll never be as good as a wall.

- I think Bigfoot is blurry, that's the problem. There's a large out-of-focus monster roaming the countryside.

- On a traffic light yellow means yield, and green means go. On a banana, it's just the opposite, yellow means go ahead, green means stop, and red means, where'd you get that banana?

- I like buying snacks from a vending machine because food is better when it falls. Sometimes at the grocery, I'll drop a candy bar so that it will achieve its maximum flavor potential.

- You know they call corn-on-the-cob, "corn-on-the-cob", but that's how it comes out of the ground. They should just call it corn, and every other type of corn, corn-off-the-cob. It's not like if someone cut off my arm they would call it "Mitch", and then re-attached it, and call it "Mitch-all-together".

- If you had a friend who was a tightrope walker, and you were walking down a sidewalk, and he fell, that would be completely unacceptible...

- My apartment is infested with koala bears. It's the cutest infestation ever. Way better than cockroaches. When I turn on the light, a bunch of koala bears scatter, but I don't want them too. I'm like, "Hey... Hold on fellows... Let me hold one of you, and feed you a leaf." Koala bears are so cute, why do they have to be so far away from me. We need to ship a few over, so I can hold one, and pat it on its head.

- Every time I go and shave, I assume there is somebody else on the planet shaving as well, so I say, "I'm gonna go shave too."

(That last one is my personal favourite... applies to sooo many things :) )

Cool things you can do with your body

2007-10-14T22:49:00.000+01:00

When your throat tickles, scratch your ear - "When the nerves in the ear are stimulated, it creates a reflex in the throat that can cause a muscle spasm," says Scott Schaffer, M.D., president of an ear, nose and throat specialty center in Gibbsboro, New Jersey. "This spasm relieves the tickle."

Painless Injections - German researchers have discovered that coughing during an injection can lessen the pain of the needle stick. According to Taras Usichenko, author of a study on the phenomenon, the trick causes a sudden, temporary rise in pressure in the chest and spinal canal, inhibiting the pain-conducting structures of the spinal cord.

Fight acid reflux - Studies have shown that patients who sleep on their left sides are less likely to suffer from acid reflux. The esophagus and stomach connect at an angle. When you sleep on your right, the stomach is higher than the esophagus, allowing food and stomach acid to slide up your throat. When you're on your left, the stomach is lower than the esophagus, so gravity's in your favor.

Stop the world from spinning - One too many drinks left you dizzy? Put your hand on something stable. The part of your ear responsible for balance—the cupula—floats in a fluid of the same density as blood. "As alcohol dilutes blood in the cupula, the cupula becomes less dense and rises," says Dr. Schaffer. This confuses your brain. The tactile input from a stable object gives the brain a second opinion, and you feel more in balance. Because the nerves in the hand are so sensitive, this works better than the conventional foot-on-the-floor wisdom.

Fold a friend - Next time you're at a party, try this trick: Have a person hold one arm straight out to the side, palm down, and instruct him to maintain this position. Then place two fingers on his wrist and push down. He'll resist. Now have him put one foot on a surface that's a half inch higher (a few magazines) and repeat. This time his arm will fold like a house of cards. By misaligning his hips, you've offset his spine, says Rachel Cosgrove, C.S.C.S., co-owner of Results Fitness, in Santa Clarita, California. Your brain senses that the spine is vulnerable, so it shuts down the body's ability to resist.

After n Before

2007-10-14T22:38:00.000+01:00

AFTER:

BEFORE:

Favourites

2007-10-14T21:53:00.000+01:00

Just Say No?

2007-10-08T01:33:00.000+01:00

Just thinking...

2007-10-06T03:35:00.000+01:00

Do we want to get older, or just get bigger?

Bzzzzttt

2007-10-06T03:30:00.000+01:00

Raspak' Mah ATHORA-TAH!!!

2007-10-06T02:58:00.001+01:00

Everything...