Malawi, me, friends, stories, and whatever else I generally find interesting that's going on in this world...

Monday, January 23, 2006

How Liberal/Conservative am I?

So....
I'm 50/50 in most things...

But 100% liberal in terms of ethics?

Well.... this is probably another reason I don't vote....









Your Political Profile



Overall: 50% Conservative, 50% Liberal

Social Issues: 45% Conservative, 55% Liberal

Personal Responsibility: 50% Conservative, 50% Liberal

Fiscal Issues: 45% Conservative, 55% Liberal

Ethics: 0% Conservative, 100% Liberal

Defense and Crime: 50% Conservative, 50% Liberal


Wanna be a vigilante?

Forbes have a great article, where they calculate how much you would need, in order to become Batman.

Checkitoutttt....

One giant step for....

In honor of the first manned Moon landing, which took place on July 20, 1969, we’ve added some NASA imagery to the Google Maps interface to help you pay your own visit to our celestial neighbor. Happy lunar surfing. More about Google Moon.

Saturday, January 21, 2006

test




200th post

So I guess I should reflect on how things have gone in my life over the last 200 posts...

How did things go?

erm...

pretty good.

:D

Friday, January 20, 2006

Fare thee well...

Don't know what I'm talking about?

Edit your template, and just after:

'<\style type=''text/css''>


paste the following:

#b-navbar {
height:0px;
visibility:hidden;
display:none
}

No Navbar!

The world's 10 stupidest Utopias

From Plato's "Republic" to The Postwar American Suburb...

Ch..ch...checkitt...

George Kubrik

How do I know that no-one in the pentagon has ever seen Dr. Strangelove?

Because they gave Bush the power to order a preemptive nuclear strike.

Woohooo....

(I hope they saw "A clockwork Orange")

Be warned...

WIRED say that the IPOD/ZEN/NANO/etc generation are going deaf..

WHAT?

oh...

ARSTECHNICA say the same thing...

5 Things I hate

1 - Thinking it's friday, on a wednesday
2 - Waking up in the morning, after 3 hours sleep.
3 - Crunching on a piece of sand when eating food.
4 - Pain
5 - Online lists of 5 things

OMG...

Call the RSPCA!!!

VOTE!!!

Portuguese elections are coming up soon.

I'll give you €500.00 if you can guess who I'm voting for this year.

Anyway, I couldn't find an online SWF or "quiz" to find out what party I belong to, so I'll just put something similar up, from just over the other side of the pond...

Google Bombing

Remeber that when you googled for "Miserable Failure", a certain well known person turned up?
(Won't mention names.... but I'll stick his ugly mug right here instead...)


How did they do it?

Google Bombing, of course...

I wanna watch this movie

The Fountain.


The Fountain stars Hugh Jackman as a conquistador in 1500, a doctor in 2006, and something insane in 2500

Apple have the trailer.

You're too skinny/thin/magricelas/bla bla bla

Better put these in here, other wise, I'll be shat on for having a skinny blog too...

Gourmet foodstuffs

Birdogs

Bug Paste

Roasted WHAT?

Bamboo Worms

Pic-n-Mix

I actually want one of THESE

Hungry?

Bet you can't eat through all these links in under a minute....

SMUT PORN XXX PORNO SMUTTY PORNO XXX PORN

Web journalism eligible for the Pulitzer? Yay!!! Save the trees!!!!

JELLY, anyone? (Did you know that a group of jellyfish is called a SMACK?)

Perfect if you work in a high-rise office.

Too much time on their hands.... or they decided to take industrial ammounts of speed and LSD while publishing their SITE

Bugs(bugged) BUNNY

THIS was a HOAX

This is it..

This is absolutely THE BEST BLONDE JOKE I have ever seen.

I have, for the first time in my life, attributed a perfect score of 10/10 for this joke.

Truly, the culmination of all the blonde jokes ever told in history...

Check it out NOW

(BTW... link me on your site/BLOG/newspaper...whatever.... this has to be told to everyone...)

Trip Planner

Need to plan a trip?

Ermmmmmm...


No...

I'm not gay...

I'm not...


Really, I'm not gay...

Not gay...


Still not....


Nope....


Hey, I don't even have a closet at home, OK?

Best Puns of 2005

Train your mastery over the English language...

(Octo what?) :D:D:D:D:D:D:D

1. Two antennas met on a roof, fell in love and got married. The ceremony wasn't much, but the reception was excellent.

2. A jumper cable walks into a bar. The bartender says, "I'll serve you, but don't start anything."

3. Two peanuts walk into a bar, and one was a salted.

4. A dyslexic man walks into a bra.

5. A man walks into a bar with a slab of asphalt under his arm and says: "A beer please, and one for the road."

6. Two cannibals are eating a clown. One says to the other: "Does this taste funny to you?"

7. "Doc, I can't stop singing 'The Green, Green Grass of Home.'" "That sounds like Tom Jones Syndrome." "Is it common?" Well, "It's Not Unusual."

8. Two cows are standing next to each other in a field. Daisy says to Dolly, "I was artificially inseminated this morning." "I don't believe you," says Dolly. "It's true, no bull!" exclaims Daisy.

10. An invisible man marries an invisible woman. The kids were nothing to look at either.

11. Deja Moo: The feeling that you've heard this bull before.

12 . I went to buy some camouflage trousers the other day but I couldn't find any.

13 . A man woke up in a hospital after a serious accident. He shouted, "Doctor, doctor, I can't feel my legs!" The doctor replied, "I know you can't - I've cut off your arms!"

14 . I went to a seafood disco last week...and pulled a mussel.

15 . What do you call a fish with no eyes? A fsh.

14 . Two termites walk into a bar. One asks, "Is the bar tender here?"

BUT WAIT -- THERE'S MORE!! Here are the 10 first place winners in the International Pun Contest

1. A vulture boards an airplane, carrying two dead raccoons. The stewardess looks at him and says, "I'm sorry, sir, only one carrion allowed per passenger."

2. Two fish swim into a concrete wall. The one turns to the other and says "Dam!".

3. Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly, so they lit a fire in the craft. Unsurprisingly it sank, proving once again that you can't have your kayak and heat it too.

4. Two hydrogen atoms meet. One says "I've lost my electron," The other says, "Are you sure?" The first replies "Yes, I'm positive."

5. Did you hear about the Buddhist who refused Novocain during a root canal? His goal: transcend dental medication.

6. A group of chess enthusiasts checked into a hotel and were standing in the lobby discussing their recent tournament victories. After about an hour, the manager came out of the office and asked them to disperse. "But why?" they asked, as they moved off. "Because", he said, "I can't stand chess-nuts boasting in an open foyer."

7. A woman has twins and gives them up for adoption. One of them goes to a family in Egypt and is named "Ahmal." The other goes to a family in Spain; they name him "Juan. " Years later, Juan sends a picture of himself to his birth mother. Upon receiving the picture, she tells her husband that she wishes she also had a picture of Ahmal. Her husband responds, "They're twins! If you've seen Juan, you've seen Ahmal."

8. These friars were behind on their belfry payments, so they opened up a small florist shop to raise funds. Since everyone liked to buy flowers from the men of God, a rival florist across town thought the competition was unfair. He asked the good fathers to close down, but they would not. He went back and begged the friars to close. They ignored him. So, the rival florist hired Hugh MacTaggart, the roughest and most vicious thug in town to "persuade" them to close. Hugh beat up the friars and trashed their store, saying he'd be back if they didn't close up shop. Terrified, they did so, thereby proving that only Hugh can prevent florist friars.

9. Mahatma Gandhi, as you know, walked barefoot most of the time, which produced an impressive set of calluses on his feet. He also ate very little, which made him rather frail and with his odd diet, he suffered from bad breath. This made him ..(Oh, man, this is so bad, it's good)..... A super calloused fragile mystic hexed by halitosis.

10. And finally, there was the person who sent ten different puns to his friends, with the hope that at least one of the puns would make them laugh. No pun in ten did.

Flying spaghetti whaaaa??


It took me exactly 12 seconds to realise what this was about.

My thoughts raced through:

Talking about god?
Nop... Christmas?
Children's drawing site?
Tentacle manga?
Testicles?
Ahh... the Flying spaghetti monster...


See how long it takes you...

Music...makes the people...

Icelandic Radiohead?

Dunno.... but they do give me a feel-good feeling inside. :D

Loved their concert... t'was wonderful.

Samples: (Right-click, download)

Glosoli

Hoppipolla

Seven Deadly Sins

Pride - I recently fixed a downed windows 2000 server that Micro$oft had given up on. Involved a lot of registry tweaking. Damn I'm good. And I won't mention the fact that in order to fix 2 computers at work, I had to resort to the REPAIR option off the installation CD.(hangs head in shame...)

Avarice - Yay!!!! Presents!!! Loads of wonderful presents!!!!!
Shit...
Xmas was last month.

Envy - Any opinions on this camera vs. this camera? I think I've narrowed it down to those two. Oh... and I envy anyone who already has one. (Or both.... ya bastid)

Wrath - I now have a King Kard. Which means I can go to the theatres and watch two movies per day, for a whole year. Yay! If any fekkin kids start talking and chattering through a movie that I'm enjoying, they will walk out the thatre with the projector up their arses. Bastids.

Lust - I've never been one to have wet dreams. Or just plain sexual dreams for that matter. Must be becuase I took a course in baiting. I have been a master in that field for almost 18 years now. I can count on one hand the number of overtly sexual dreams I've had in my life. But in the last few days, I've been having nothing but sexual dreams, or at least dreams of an erotic nature. I keep waking up at night, and realizing that I was turned on, but the dream itself wasn't explicit. Just situational. I think I need help.

Gluttony - Erm. I'm a glutton. Well... maybe not for food.... but beer definately...

Sloth
- One of my weak... erm... strong points. I am lazy. But I have a good excuse... My organisational skills and attention span are.... hey, what's that?

Sunday, January 08, 2006

What is this?

Lion?

Tiger?

Hyena?

Giraffe?

Click here to find out...

Friday, January 06, 2006