Malawi, me, friends, stories, and whatever else I generally find interesting that's going on in this world...

Friday, November 24, 2006

Great Pics

http://www.geh.org/parkeharrison/index.htm

I sent this to about 20 people over MSN Messenger
I Got:
4 Nice's
5 Lindo's
1 Lindo Amor....
2 Cool's
1 Stop bothering me... I told you never to talk to me again, you FREAK!!!!

The rest didnt reply...

Friday, November 03, 2006

Fekked up post

This posting is gonna be crap...

But here ya go.

TYry your luck at http://www.9types.com/cgi-bin/ennea/score.pl

Enneagram Type Indicator Results

Your highest score will indicate you basic type, or it will
be among the top 2-3 scores.
You have answered all the questions -- terrific!


The Nine Personality Types of the Enneagram

























Type 1Type 2Type 3Type 4Type 5Type 6Type 7Type 8Type 9
162456624


Type 1: The Reformer. The rational, idealistic type.

Type 2: The Helper. The caring, nurturing type.

Type 3: The Motivator. The adaptable, success-oriented type.

Type 4: The Artist. The intuitive, reserved type.

Type 5: The Thinker. The perceptive, cerebral type.

Type 6: The Skeptic. The committed, security-oriented type.

Type 7: The Generalist. The enthusiastic, productive type.

Type 8: The Leader. The powerful, aggressive type.

Type 9: The Peacemaker. The easygoing, accommodating type.

Thursday, November 02, 2006

Muvis

40 Year Old Virgin [1]

Airplane [1]

Akira [1] [2] [3] [4] [5] [6]


Alien Vs Predator [1] [2] [3] [4] [5] [6] [7] [8] [9] [10] [11] [12]



American Beauty[1][2][3][4][5][6][7][8][9] [10] [11] [12]



Animatrix - Second Rennaissance Part 1 [1]


Animatrix - Second Rennaissance Part 2 [1]


Animatrix - Detective Story [1]


Animatrix - Program [1]


Animatrix - World Record [1]



Animatrix - Kid's Story [1]


Animatrix - Final Flight of the Osiris [1]


Animatrix - Matriculated [1]


Army Of Darkness [1] [2] [3]



Army Of Darkness [1]

Cars [1] [2]


Casino [1]

Creepshow [1]

Dirty Sanchez The Movie [1] [2]

Dogma [1] [2] [3] [4]


Dogma [1]

Dumb And Dumber [1] [2] [3] [4] [5]

Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas [1] [2] [3] [4] [5] [6] [7] [8] [9] [10]

Fight Club [1] [2] [3] [4] [5] [6] [7] [8]

Flight 93 [1]

Full Metal Jacket [1]

Ghost in the Shell [1] [2] [3] [4] [5] [6]

Goodfellas [1]

Ice Age [1] [2] [3] [4] [5] [6] [7] [8]

Ice Age 2[1][2][3]

Interview With The Vampire [1] [2] [3] [4] [5] [6] [7] [8] [9] [10] [11] [12] [13]

Jackass The Movie [1]

Jackass Two[1][2]

Killer Klowns From Outer Space [1]

Labyrinth [1] [2] [3] [4] [5] [6]

Lady In The Water [1] [2] [3] [4] [5] [6]

Legend [1] [2] [3] [4] [5] [6] [7] [8] [9] [10] [11] [12]

Lock Stock And Two Smoking Barrels [1]

Monty Python And The Holy Grail [1][2][3]

Night Of The Creeps [1]

Ninja Scroll [1] [2] [3] [4] [5] [6] [7] [8] [9]

Office Space [1]

Pet Sematary [1]

Return Of The Living Dead [1]


Robin Williams Live On Broadway [1] [2] [3] [4] [5] [6] [7] [8] [9] [10]

Scanner Darkly [1] [2] [3] [4] [5] [6]


Scary Movie [1]

Scary Movie[1][2][3][4][5][6][7][8][9][10]

Scary Movie 2 [1]

Scary Movie 3[1][2][3] [4][5][6][7][8][9]

Scary Movie 4[1][2][3][4][5][6][7][8][9] [10]


Sin City[1]

South Park The Movie [1] [2] [3] [4] [5] [6] [7] [8] [9]

South Park: Bigger Longer And Uncut [1]

Star Wars Episode I: The Phantom Menace[1][2]

Star Wars Episode II: Attack Of The Clones[1][2]

Star Wars Episode III :Revenge of the Sith [1] [2]

Star Wars Episode IV: Return Of The Jedi [1] [2]

Star Wars Episode V: The Empire Strikes Back [1] [2]

Star Wars Episode VI: A New Hope [1] [2]

Super Size Me [1] [2] [3]


Superman Returns [1] [2] [3]

Tales From The Crypt Presents: Demon Knight [1]

Taxi[1][2][3][4][5][6][7][8][9][10]

Texas Chainsaw Massacre The Beginning[1][2]

Texas Chainsaw Massacre (1974) [1]

The Batman Superman Movie [1] [2] [3] [4] [5] [6] [7]

The Big Lebowski [1] [2] [3] [4] [5] [6]

The Goonies[1][2]

The Lost Boys [1] [2] [3] [4] [5] [6]

The Stuff [1]

Top Secret! [1]

Vamp [1]

Van Wilder [1]

When A Stranger Calls [1] [2] [3] [4] [5] [6] [7] [8] [9] [10] [11] [12] [13] [14][15]

You Me, And Dupree [1] [2] [3] [4] [5]

Bond Bloopers

Some of the biggest mistakes from Bond movies through the years... More videos here.




Deep Thoughts

If you ever drop your keys into a river of molten lava, let'em go,
because, man, they're gone.




If trees could scream, would we be so cavalier about cutting them
down? We might, if they screamed all the time, for no good reason."




To me, it's a good idea to always carry two sacks of something when
you walk around. That way, if anybody says, "Hey, can you give me a
hand?" You can say, "Sorry, got these sacks."




One thing kids like is to be tricked. For instance, I was going to
take my nephew to Disneyland, but instead I drove him to an old
burned-out warehouse. "Oh no," I said, "Disneyland burned down.

He cried and cried, but I think that deep down he thought it was a
pretty good joke. I started to drive over to the real Disneyland, but
it was getting pretty late.




The face of a child can say it all, especially the mouth part of the
face.




If you lived in the Dark Ages and you were a catapult operator, I bet
the most common question people would ask is, "Can't you make it
shoot farther?" "No, I'm sorry. That's as far as it shoots."




Is there anything more beautiful than a beautiful, beautiful
flamingo, flying across in front of a beautiful sunset? And he's
carrying a beautiful rose in his beak, and also he's carrying a very
beautiful painting with his feet. And also, you're drunk.




I believe in making the world safe for our children, but not our
children's children, because I don't think children should be having
sex.





If a kid asks where rain comes from, I think a cute thing to tell him
is, "God is crying." And if he asks why God is crying, another cute
thing to tell him is, "Probably because of something you did."




If you ever catch on fire, try to avoid seeing yourself in the
mirror, because I bet that's what REALLY throws you into a panic.




Whenever I see an old lady slip and fall on a wet sidewalk, my first
instinct is to laugh. But then I think, what if I was an ant and she
fell on me. Then it wouldn't seem quite so funny.




To me, boxing is like a ballet, except there's no music, no
choreography and the dancers hit each other.




I hope if dogs ever take over the world and they choose a king, they
don't just go by size, because I bet there are some Chihuahuas with
some good ideas.




If life deals you lemons, why not go kill someone with the lemons
(maybe by shoving them down his throat).




Instead of having "answers" on a math test, they should just call
them "impressions," and if you got a different "impression," so what,
can't we all be brothers?




Probably the earliest fly swatters were nothing more than some sort
of striking surface attached to the end of a long stick.





I wish I would have a real tragic love affair and get so bummed out
that I'd just quit my job and become a bum for a few years, because I
was thinking about doing that anyway.




I think a good gift for the President would be a chocolate revolver.
And since he's so busy, you'd probably have to run up to him real
quick and hand it to him.




Maybe in order to understand mankind we have to look at that word
itself. MANKIND. Basically, it's made up of two separate words "mank"
and "ind."

What do these words mean? It's a mystery and that's why so is
mankind.




If you go flying back through time and you see somebody else flying
forward into the future, it's probably best to avoid eye contact.




It's easy to sit there and say you'd like to have more money. And I
guess that's what I like about it. It's easy. Just sitting there,
rocking back and forth, wanting that money.




If you ever reach total enlightenment while you're drinking a beer, I
bet it makes beer shoot out your nose.




To me, clowns aren't funny. In fact, they're kinda scary. I've
wondered where this started and I think it goes back to the time I
went to the circus and a clown killed my dad.




As the light changed from red to green to yellow and back to red
again, I sat there thinking about life. Was it nothing more than a
bunch of honking and yelling? Sometimes it seemed that way.




I can picture in my mind a world without war, a world without hate.
And I can picture us attacking that world, because they'd never
expect it.




I hope some animal never bores a hole in my head and lays its eggs in
my brain, because later you might think you're having a good idea but
it's just eggs hatching.




Whenever you read a good book, it's like the author is right there,
in the room talking to you, which is why I don't like to read good
books.




What is it about a beautiful sunny afternoon, with the birds singing
and the wind rustling through the leaves, that makes you want to get
drunk?

And after you're real drunk, maybe go down to the public park and
stagger around and ask people for money, and then lay down and go to
sleep.




Instead of a trap door, what about a trap window? The guy looks out
it, and if he leans too far, he falls out. Wait. I guess that's like
a regular window.




During the Middle Ages, probably one of the biggest mistakes was not
putting on your armor because you were "just going down to the
corner."




If I ever get real rich, I hope I'm not real mean to poor people,
like I am now.




When I found the skull in the woods, the first thing I did was call
the police. But then I got curious about it. I picked it up, and
started wondering who this person was, and why he had deer horns.




I remember how my great-uncle Jerry would sit on the porch and
whittle all day long. Once he whittled me a toy boat out of a larger
toy boat I had. It was almost as good as the first one, except now it
had bumpy whittle marks all over it. And no paint, because he had
whittled off the paint.




Here's a good thing to do if you go to a party and you don't know
anybody: First take out the garbage. Then go around and collect any
extra garbage that people might have, like a crumpled napkin, and
take that out too. Pretty soon people will want to meet the busy
garbage guy.




Sometimes I think you have to march right in and demand your rights,
even if you don't know what your rights are, or who the person is
you're talking to. Then on the way out, slam the door.




If you're a cowboy and you're dragging a guy behind your horse, I bet
it would really make you mad if you looked back and the guy was
reading a magazine.




If your friend is already dead, and being eaten by vultures, I think
it's okay to feed some bits of your friend to one of the vultures, to
teach him to do some tricks. But only if you're serious about
adopting the vulture.




Broken promises don't upset me. I just think, why did they believe
me?




If you ever crawl inside an old hollow log and go to sleep, and while
you're in there some guys come and seal up both ends and then put it
on a truck and take it to another city, boy, I don't know what to
tell you.




One thing vampire children have to be taught early on is, don't run
with a wooden stake.




Bishops Finger Beer





Bavaria Beer






Online confessions

03/24/2006 at 19:28:13 - Sorry, young man. I'll be nice to you when I see you, and throw the baseball around once in awhile. But understand, I am mainly here to fuck your mom. She is okay with it. Hopefully you will be too. It sounds way worse on paper than it actually is.

01/26/2006 at 01:50:17 - I am so smart that I never have to study for anything and still get excellent grades with no trouble. The only problem is I'm a lazy piece of shit!


05/17/2005 at 21:05:43 - I envy your happiness. I only wish that one day, I can be happy too.


More lamenting at Notproud

10 reasons why christianity is wrong

The 10 Reasons Why Christianity is Wrong
by Trevor Burrus · October 30th, 2006 ·

10. It is Absurd: This may seem like I am re-stating what this list sets out to show. However, this is misleading. When someone comes to us with an extravagant claim the most common reason we may discount the claim is because, to put it curtly, we find it absurd. The reason why the majority of people don’t believe in Scientology, reincarnation, Mormonism, Greek Gods, etc. is not because they have extensively researched the historicity and veracity of the claims, it is because they don’t believe such things happen in the world. In other words, common sense tells us that when someone claims the absurd almost anything is more likely to be the case (i.e. they are lying, they are delusional, they are relying on misinformation) then for the absurdity to be real. Men do not miraculously heal the sick, raise the dead, cure the blind, and rise from the grave. The claims of Christianity are prima facie absurd. The burden of proof is on them.


Check out the other 9 reasons on Trevors' Site...
Above from http://www.symbolicorder.com/



Whats the difference between me and a christian?

A christian would have mailed 150 people with "proof" that Jesus exists / is the savious / is dead, but is coming back REAL soon / other things i cant think of right now...

Stuff I did know

The longest one-syllable word in the English language is
"screeched."

"Dreamt" is the only English word that ends in the letters
"mt".

Almonds are members of the peach family.

Cats have over one hundred vocal sounds, while dogs only have
about ten.

The word "Checkmate" in chess comes from the Persian phrase
"Shah Mat," which means "the king is dead".

There is a seven letter word in the English language that
contains ten words without rearranging any of its letters,
"therein" the, there, he, in, rein, her, here, ere, therein, herein.

Duelling is legal in Paraguay as long as both parties are
registered blood donors.

John Larroquette of "Night Court" and "The John Larroquette
Show" was the narrator of "The Texas Chainsaw Massacre."

The characters Bert and Ernie on Sesame Street were named after
Bert the cop and Ernie the taxi driver in
Frank Capra's "Its A Wonderful Life"

A goldfish has a memory span of three seconds.

It's impossible to sneeze with your eyes open.

It was discovered on a space mission that a frog can throw
up.The frog throws up its stomach first, so the stomach is dangling out of
it's mouth.Then the frog uses its forearms to dig out all of the
stomach's contents and then swallows the stomach back down again.

Cranberries are sorted for ripeness by bouncing them; a fully
ripened cranberry can be dribbled like a basketball.

The male gypsy moth can "smell" the virgin female gypsy moth
from 1.8 miles away.

The letters KGB stand for Komitet Gosudarstvennoy Bezopasnosti.

The name for Oz in the "Wizard of Oz" was thought up when the
creator, Frank Baum, looked at his filing cabinet and saw A-N, and O-Z,
hence "Oz."

The microwave was invented after a researcher walked by a radar
tube and a chocolate bar melted in his pocket.

'Stewardesses' is the longest word that is typed with only the
left hand.

To "testify" was based on men in the Roman court swearing to a
statement made by swearing on their testicles.

A cat has 32 muscles in each ear.

Stuff I didnt know

The symbol on the "pound" key (#) is called an octothorpe.

The dot over the letter 'i' is called a tittle.

Ingrown toenails are hereditary.

The word "set" has more definitions than any other word in the
English language.

"Underground" is the only word in the English language that
begins and ends with the letters "und."

There are only four words in the English language which end
in"-dous" tremendous, horrendous, stupendous, and hazardous.

The longest word in the English language, according to the
Oxford English Dictionary,
is pneumonoultramicroscopicsilicovolcanoconiosis.
The only other word with the same amount of letters is
pneumonoultramicroscopicsilicovolcanoconioses, its plural.

The longest place-name still in use is
Taumatawhakatangihangakoauauotamateaturipukakapikimau
ngahoronukupokaiwenuakitanatahu, a New Zealand hill.

Los Angeles's full name is "El Pueblo de Nuestra Senora la
Reina de los Angeles de Porciuncula" and can be
abbreviated to 3.63% of its size, "L.A."

In most advertisments, including newspapers, the time displayed
on a watch is 10:10.

Alfred Hitchcock didn't have a belly button.It was eliminated
when he was sewn up after surgery.

Telly Savalas and Louis Armstrong died on their birthdays.

Donald Duck's middle name is Fauntleroy.

Al Capone's business card said he was a used furniture dealer.
The muzzle of a lion is like a fingerprint - no two lions have
the same pattern of whiskers.

Steely Dan got their name from a sexual device depicted in the
book 'The Naked Lunch'.

A pregnant goldfish is called a twit.

The Ramses brand condom is named after the great phaoroh Ramses
II who fathered over 160 children.

Testing


Trying to see if gifs work on frikkin blogger....

Oldies

How did sites look back in the good old days?

here's:

IMDB from 1996

Yahoo from 1996

The Wyte House



Check out more net memorabilia here

The truth? I can not handle the truth...

by Kennedy.


Look out for other greats like Hunter S., Mel Brooks, Hitler, and Kurdt Cobain???

Truth hurts, huh?

What do animals mean to us?







Quite a few things, apparently...

Girls love geeks

A Girl's Guide to Geek Guys
By Mikki Halpin and Victoria Maat
So, your crush on the bass player from Vibrating Sandbox has finally died a whimpering death and you're wondering where to go from here. All the sinister dudes are either dating a series of interchangeable high-school riot girls in baby doll dresses and an overdose of manic panic, or permanently shacked up with some bitter old lady who pays all the bills. Which will it be, a wifely prison or a humiliating one night stand? Into this void of potential mates comes a man you may not have considered before, a man of substance, quietude and stability, a cerebral creature with a culture all his own. In short, a geek.

Why Geek Dudes Rule
They are generally available. Other women will tend not to steal them. They can fix things. Your parents will love them. They're smart.

Where The Geek Dude Lurks
While they are often into alternative music, geek dudes tend not to go to shows too often. Instead you'll find them hanging out with their friends, discussing the latest hardware revolution or perfecting their Bill Gates impressions. You know how some people wear t-shirts with their favorite bands on them, thus showing that they went to certain shows? Well, geek dudes wear t-shirts with the logos of different software companies on them, thus showing that they are up on the latest, um, releases. A small, though convivial, rivalry may be detected here amongst the geek dudes. Try wearing one yourself and see if he strikes up a conversation. Of course the best way to meet a geek dude is through the Internet. All geeks harbor a secret fantasy about meeting some girl in cyberspace, carrying on an e-mail romance in which he has the chance to combine an activity he is comfortable with, computing, with one he is very uncomfortable with, socializing. To many geek dudes, cyberdating is just an advanced form of some kind of video game, but they are frustrated by a lack of players. Their lack is your strength.

Imprinting
You might notice that these men harbor some strange ideas about how the world works and some particularly strange ideas about women. There is a reason for this. Because they've had limited interpersonal experience, geek dudes must look elsewhere for behavior models. Lacking a real world social milieu, geeks often go through a transference stage withsuch narratives, and try to model their interactions on them. Thus, certain media images and themes come to have an overly cathected, metaphorized reality to them, while the rest of us view such programming as mere entertainment. Case in point, our next topic...

The Trek factor
If you're not up on your Star Trek, you can forget about getting or keeping a geek dude. And I'm not just talking vintage-era Captain Kirk and Spock either. You've got to be up on your The Next Generation, your Deep Space Nine, your Babylon 5. Armed with your own knowledge of Federation policies, you can better gauge when and how to act. The sexual politics of Star Trek are pretty blunt: the men run the technology and the ship, and the women are caretakers (a doctor and a counselor). Note the sexual tensions on the bridge of the Enterprise: the women, in skin tight uniforms, and with luxuriant, flowing hair. The men, often balding, and sporting some sort of permanently attached computer auxiliary.This world metaphorizes the fantasies of the geek dude, who sees himself in the geeky - but - heroic male officers and who secretly desires a sexy, smart, Deanna or Bev to come along and deferentially accept him for who he is. If you are willing to accept that this is his starting point for reality, you are ready for a geek relationship.

Once You've Nabbed Him
Of course, catching that geek guy is only half the battle. Keeping him by your side is another story altogether. I was privileged to speak with Miss Victoria Maat, who not only got herself a geek guy but was also clever enough to marry him just a few short months ago. She interrupted her newlywed bliss to give us a few tips on the care and feeding of a geek man: Geeks are sensitive and caring lovers and husbands. If you can hang with the techno-lifestyle, they make the best mates. They are the most attractive people, not flashy or hunky, but the kind who get cuter and more alluring over time (I told you she was a newlywed). Definitely give geeks a chance.

Geek Cuisine
Geeks tend towards packaged, junk foods since they prefer to work and think and aren't all that into cooking for themselves. Make sure that your geek understands that you are not merely a replicator, and provide him with home cooked food. A batch of chocolate chip cookies will let him know that you love him. You do have to monitor your geek for weight gain; however, remember that most of their days are spent sitting and staring at a monitor.

Geek Lifestyle
The geek dude has long work habits and tends to bring his work home with him. He seems permanently connected to his hard disk. You must at least appear interested in his work. Generally, a solid understanding of the computer is a must; if you cannot master this, you should at least be able to talk the talk. Remember most geeks are anal and they get stressed about details which appear insignificant. Be understanding, put on your best Deanna Troi face (see above) and empathize. To relax, geeks love to play the latest computer games. Let him play Myst or Chuck Yeager's Air Combat for hours if hewants to. Act concerned if he's stuck or has just been ambushed by three MiGs. My geek loves to try to help people on the Internet who say that they are stuck in Myst. He comes up with clever riddles instead of directing them point blank. Geeks also like to go to sci-fi and Japanese animated movies, again, a basically harmless vent for your man.

Geek Buddies
Many geeks extend their work friendships into what they jokingly refer to as RL (Real Life, also known as "that big room with the ceiling that is sometimes blue and sometimes black with little lights"). The greatest thing about your geek's buddies is that you can feel secure in setting them up with your girlfriends. They may feel awkward around females at first, so don't overwhelm them. In time they will come out of their shell and realize that you are into the same things they are.

Post-It Note
I thank Victoria for the above advice. I must say that when she read my draft of the piece, before writing her section, she asked her husband which one he thought she was more like, Deanna or Beverly. Howard, the devil, immediately replied that he had always thought Victoria was actually most like Ensign Ro Laren, a cute character with a slight authorityproblem who is always had trouble (this is fairly apt). This exchange is interesting for several reasons: 1.Howard had already thought about who she was most like. 2.He could summon up characters from seasons past with ease. 3.Victoria actually knew who he meant. 4.Folks, I think this marriage will last.

One Last Thing
Because they have been so abused and ignored by society, many geeks have gone underground. You may actually know some and just haven't noticed them. They often feel resentful, and misunderstood, and it is important to realize this as you grow closer to them. Don't ever try to force the issue, or make crazy demands that he choose between his computer and you. Remember, his computer has been there for him his whole life; you are a new interloper he hasn't quite grasped yet Geek dudes thrive on mystery and love challenges and intellectual puzzles. Don't you consider yourself one? Wouldn't youlike a little intellectual stimulation or your own? We thought so.

Ms Dewey

Ask Ms. Dewey to help you with your searches...

She is amazing...

Try these search phrases:

Yoga
Fisting
Rock and Roll
Voyeur
Marijuana
Sex
Masturbation
Spanking
George Bush
Premature Ejaculation
Rock and roll
Rap...(You gotta do rap a couple of times...)

LSD is my favourite....
Frikkin freaked me out....

Also, try and leave her in the background while you do other stuff...

AIDS - It's out there...

Hard to imagine we still need ads like this......










" Civilisation, are we really civilised? Yes or no, who are we to judge?"

Mr Wendal, Arrested Development