Malawi, me, friends, stories, and whatever else I generally find interesting that's going on in this world...

Monday, October 23, 2006

Get your fressshhhhhhhhhhh muvis here

South Park
Season 1
Season 2
Season 3
Season 4
Season 5
Season 6
Season 7
Season 8
Season 9
Season 10

An some muvis:
Family Guy The Movie
Shaun of the Dead
Superman Returns
Snakes on a Plane
Lady in the Water
A Scanner Darkly
Texas Chainsaw Masacare - the begining
The Covenant
Nacho Libre
Family Guy - Stewie Griffin Uncensored

Lemme know if you want more....

Nuff Said

Blue Tooth Shivers

Well, you're just gonna hafta go visit the SITE, coz all I'm putting up here are the tech-specs:

-Cutting edge electronics
-Wireless bluetooth technology
-2 years in design and development
-Intelligent CPU
-Turbo-boost circuitry for more motor power
-Lithium-ion battery technology
-Power status and charge indicator
-90 mm length by 33mm diameter
-14.5 cm high tensile coated cable antenna/extractor
-Compatible with at least 33 popular mobile phones
-Worldwide range, the only limit is network coverage
-The Toy is not discoverable in a bluetooth search

Mobile Compatibility
The Toy is compatible with the following mobile phones:
Nokia - 6021, 6103, 6230, 6230i, 6310i, 6650, 6822, 7280, 7600, 8800 and other non 3G models with bluetooth
Motorola - V3x, V50, V80, V500, V525, V545, V547, V600, V620, V635, RAZR V3, RAZR V5 , E1000, E770v, C390, ROKR E1, L6
Panasonic - X70
Samsung - D500, D600
Sharpe - GX25i
Sony Ericsson - T68i, T610, T630, Z520i, Z600, Z800, Z520i, P900, P910, K608i, K700i, K750i, V800, W800, W810i

Who owns Who?

This is a great view on where search engines get their results from... who owns them, and who they provide to.

Unsurprisingly, Google boasts a 46% Nielsen Netrating.

Oh... and it's INTERACTIVE


"Lucid dreaming (also known as dream consciousness or conscious dreaming) is dreaming while being aware that you are dreaming. To actually have a lucid dream you merely have to recognize that you are dreaming.
Realizing you are dreaming may not seem all that special, but becoming aware that you are dreaming presents the opportunity of controlling dreams. The idea is that once you are aware you are dreaming you can alter your dreams and dictate what happens: you can do anything you’ve ever wanted and go anywhere you’ve ever desired. Furthermore, everyone can learn how to have lucid dreams.

Sound too good to be true, or perhaps a little too “new-ageish?” Lucid dreaming is very real and very possible, and there are many practical and down-to-Earth reasons to experiment with lucid dreams. Are you a little apprehensive over the idea of controlling your dreams, for various reasons?
You can also use components of lucid dreaming to simply aid in dream recall, to provide you with more of an opportunity to deeply explore your dreams, and to even help increase the chances of you dreaming about things that you’d like to dream about—without having control. Regardless, we are getting ahead of ourselves here. A good place to start is with a more complete explanation of just what constitutes lucid dreaming."

I had my first lucid dream when I was 6. I learnt about lucid dreaming when I was 16.

This site is pretty well organised.

Telescoping growth.

Plan to Stick Around
Most of you (again I'm using the plural form of the word) are likely to be around to see the Singularity. The expanding human life span is another one of those exponential trends. In the eighteenth century, we added a few days every year to human longevity; during the nineteenth century we added a couple of weeks each year; and now we're adding almost a half a year every year. With the revolutions in genomics, proteomics, rational drug design, therapeutic cloning of our own organs and tissues, and related developments in bio-information sciences, we will be adding more than a year every year within ten years. So take care of yourself the old fashioned way for just a little while longer, and you may actually get to experience the next fundamental paradigm shift in our destiny.

The last paragraph in a 25 page essay.

It is titled "Law..." but it really is just a theory... but I do subscribe to it.

Worth a read.... Mawalien 6 thumbs up...

The Y Project

This would be the natural evolution of the pic I put up 32 posts ago.

(Not safe for work, I guess...)

Danger signs

If you've become a radiation mutant
with a deformed hand, remember
to close the window.
No one wants to see that shit.
Hurricanes, animal corpses
and the biohazard symbol
have a lot in common.
Think about it.
Use your flashlight to lift
the walls right off of you!

If you have set yourself on fire, do not run

My personal Favourite:

If your building collapses,

give yourself a blowjob while waiting to be rescued.


Repair anything...

Wait... you need the manual...

WEEEELLLLLL... i found my SEP900, Nokia 6100, old sony TV, Washing machine and other service repair manuals on THIS site....

Mawalien baby-seal of approval (minus club)

Try it....

I dont mind if you don't like my personality... I've got 4 more

Well, instead of posting 100+ personality tests for you all...

just go visit the mother of personality test repositories HERE

They have the classical "movie" tests, and the obscure "how many people would i kill if i found myself at work with a pipe bomb in my breifcase"

I do this...

How to Fire people

An executive was in a quandary. He had to get rid of one of his staff. He had narrowed it down to one of two people, Debra or Jack. It would be a hard decision to make, as they were both equally qualified and both did excellent work. He finally decided that in the morning whichever one used the water cooler first would have to go. Debra came in the next morning, hugely hungover after partying all night. She went to the cooler to get some water to take an aspirin and the executive approached her and said: “Debra, I’ve never done this before, but I have to lay you or Jack off.” Debra replied, “Could you jack off, I have a terrible headache.”


Wednesday, October 04, 2006

Rare old movie pics

The Simpsons in 3D

From Blogywood

Space Hygiene

The world's first female space tourist and first space blogger, American national Anousheh Ansari, has been telling the world of the difficulties of keeping tidy in zero gravity.

"Well my friends, I must admit keeping good hygiene in space is not easy!" the Iranian-born woman wrote, saying she would reveal what "everyone wants to know" but is too modest to ask.
"Water does not 'flow' here, it 'floats' - which makes it a challenging act to clean yourself," Ms Ansari said.

She explains that astronauts bathe with wet and dry towels and swallow after brushing their teeth, which they refer to as "the fresh mint effect".

Ms Ansari says she had been given the personal hygiene kit of Daisuke Enomoto, a would-be space tourist from Japan who was pulled from the flight because of health problems, leaving her with "a razor and lots of shaving cream, but no make-up".

Hair-washing in space brings its own difficulties.

"You basically take a water bag and slowly make a huge water bubble over your head and then very very gently, using a dry shampoo, you wash your hair," Ms Ansari said.
"At the slightest sudden movement, little water bubbles start floating everywhere."
Ms Ansari has promised to share videos of the process upon her return to Earth.

More at ABC News

PUB(L)IC Hair Fashion show...

These guys (and gals) seriously have nothing else to do...

Courtneys causing waves again...

According to The Sun:

"COURTNEY Love has shocked again by posing as the Virgin Mary while cradling a dying lookalike of her late husband Kurt Cobain - supposed to depict Jesus Christ.

The troubled one-time Hole frontwoman modelled for the cover shot for fashion and celebrity photographer David LaChapelle's new book of images, Heaven To Hell."

More here

So, I take it the Virgin Courtney one is worse than these?

Good reason to study...

It's official: graduate women are more likely to experience an orgasm when making the beast with two backs, according to a revealing survey of 19,307 Australians.

According to "Sexual Practices at Last Heterosexual Encounter and Occurrence of Orgasm in a National Survey", carried out by researchers from the UK's Sussex University and the universities of Sydney and Melbourne, it also helps if you speak English at home, have a "higher household income" and "a managerial/professional occupation".

Read more at The Register, or grab the PDF from

Bushy bush...

Well... if you tell lies like THESE

then.... people might do THIS to you...


NEW YORK Expecting a major, if probably hysterical, hit to its image in the coming weeks with the release of the new “Borat” movie, the government of Kazakhstan has taken out a four-page advertising section in today’s New York Times and International Herald Tribune.
It comes as Kazakhstan’s President Nursultan Nazarbayev is about to meet with President Bush, starting today. The ad kicks off with a large photo of the two men shaking hands at the White House in 2001.

The costly ad supplement, which appears in the middle of the Times’ first section, makes no mention of Borat or the movie. The government has also produced ads to be shown on U.S. television.

For those not in the know, Borat is a character – a bumbling, racist, Kazakh journalist – created by Sacha Baron Cohen for his TV series “Da Ali G Show.” In the new movie, which has already drawn wide attention, he comes to America and does everything from riding the New York City subway (releasing chickens) to singing the “Star Spangled Banner” at a Western rodeo.

Read more HERE

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Fppmpppmfpmf... fppmfffmpmfp Mmfmfpmppfppmffmpp ppmmmmpmpmffpppmfm mmmppp mmmpfmpfmmppmmmpffmmmpppmmfmpp ppfppp

Fmmmmmppmmmmmpmmfpmff, Mff fmpmfpppffmfmfmmfpfmp mfffmp fppppffmfpmfmpm mmpmpp mmfppfppfpmf fmpppf pmfmppfmp Pmpmppppppppffm mfpmmmfpmmpp mmm mfmppf...

Mfmppf fmpmfpmpppffmpp mmpmppmpfppfpffmpp fmmppfppmmppppfpppmpp pmpmffpmfpmffmm mfpmffppm....

Wanna be a Spy?

The CIA have to be joking, right?

According to them, I'm an "Innovative Pioneer"

Well... take their online Recruitment test, and decide for yourself...

Am I normal?

This "sex" question is the most asked, and Functional Ambivalent has something to say about it:

"WARNING: The following blog entry contains information about, descriptions of, and possibly secretions from sexual activity.

If you are not interested in things like that, I'm very sorry. Please go here where there is no danger of sex breaking out anytime soon, except perhaps among the custodial staff. On the other hand, if you're human and not completely repressed, you might want to read on. It's Sex Day here at Functional Ambivalent.

That's right, after what seems like forever, we're back to the subject matter that causes blog traffic to skyrocket and my own self-esteem to plummet. Is this really what it all comes to? Writing about boobs and the women they're cavorting with? Apparently. A word to the wise: I haven't done this in a while.

I might be a little rusty."

Read it here...

Drinking.... and flying?

This is basically a helicopter with a bottle opener strapped to it.... opening beer bottles...

There's a little black spot on the Sun today...

From Daily Mail:

"It looks like a speck of dust on the surface of the sun. But this spectacular picture shows the space shuttle Atlantis alongside the International Space Station (ISS) silhouetted as they orbit the earth.

The image was taken in Normandy by French astrophotographer Thierry Legault. He used a digital camera attached to a £5,000 specially kitted-out telescope. "

This is really cool... don't forget to check the Zooooommm...

Why Do People Kiss?

Why do humans kiss? - Roberto Morabito from Brooklyn, NY.

"Her eyes are wide as they stare into yours. You wrap your arm around her waist and pull her in close. She touches your face and you lean in, tilt your head – to the right, of course – and your lips connect. The rushing sensation leaves you little room to wonder, “Why the hell am I doing this anyway?”

Of course, the simplest answer is that humans kiss because it just feels good. But there are people for whom this explanation isn’t quite sufficient. They formally study the anatomy and evolutionary history of kissing and call themselves philematologists.
So far, these kiss scientists haven’t conclusively explained how human smooching originated, but they’ve come up with a few theories, and they’ve mapped out how our biology is affected by a passionate lip-lock.

A big question is whether kissing is learned or instinctual. Some say it is a learned behavior, dating back to the days of our early human ancestors. Back then, mothers may have chewed food and passed it from their mouths into those of their toothless infants. Even after babies cut their teeth, mothers would continue to press their lips against their toddlers’ cheeks to comfort them.

Supporting the idea that kissing is learned rather than instinctual is the fact that not all humans kiss. Certain tribes around the world just don’t make out, anthropologists say. While 90 percent of humans actually do kiss, 10 percent have no idea what they’re missing.

Others believe kissing is indeed an instinctive behavior, and cite animals’ kissing-like behaviors as proof. While most animals rub noses with each other as a gesture of affection, others like to pucker up just like humans.

Bonobos, for example, make up tons of excuses to swap some spit. They do it to make up after fights, to comfort each other, to develop social bonds, and sometimes for no clear reason at all – just like us.Today, the most widely accepted theory of kissing is that humans do it because it helps us sniff out a quality mate.

When our faces are close together, our pheromones “talk” – exchanging biological information about whether or not two people will make strong offspring. Women, for example, subconsciously prefer the scent of men whose genes for certain immune system proteins are different from their own. This kind of match could yield offspring with stronger immune systems, and better chances for survival.

Still, most people are satisfied with the explanation that humans kiss because it feels good. Our lips and tongues are packed with nerve endings, which help intensify all those dizzying sensations of being in love when we press our mouths to someone else’s.

Experiencing such feelings doesn’t usually make us think too hard about why we kiss – instead, it drives us to find ways to do it more often."

Dunno... I'm not convinced yet.... (K)

From Science Line

Take study-worthy lecture notes

Gina Trapani has this to say about taking notes that you can actually USE:

"Copying class notes after the fact is a time-consuming way to study for an exam, but it was the only thing that truly worked for me back in college.
But next week I'll be in a classroom again for the first time in 8 years, pen poised over notebook, and this time I'm going to perfect a strategy that gets my notes right the first time: the Cornell Note-taking method."

Read more HERE


Bare your breasts, and help raise money for the fight against Breast Cancer.

So far, they have raised $9240.40!

(Male and Female rack-shots are accepted)

I'm sending in mine tomorrow....

Check it out here...

Gonna sue the travel agency...

They put me in the wrong room....

5000 Years of History in 90 Seconds

Who has controlled the Middle East over the course of history?
Pretty much everyone. Egyptians, Turks, Jews, Romans, Arabs, Greeks, Persians, Europeans...the list goes on.

Who will control the Middle East today?

Wanna go Solo?

When starting a business, here are 5 things you shouldn’t spend a lot of money on:

1 - Fancy shmancy marketing materials:
Brochures, pamphlets, and other uber-glossy, 4-color ultra high-end print materials are too expensive when first starting out. Go the blogging route for a bit of marketing muscle and exposure. Do a little homework on SEO and targeted advertising through Google Adwords before spending on printed marketing materials. If business cards are a must (and they typically are) try an online service like Great FX Business Cards where you can design your cards online.

2 - Software:
I’m not advocating the use of pirated software, but there are plenty of online tools that are inexpensive or free, and can be just as effective for starting up your business as more traditional software. Ex. Google Spreadsheets, Writely, Blinksale, StikiPad, Skype…

3 - Advertising:
It may depend somewhat on the business, but advertising is a tough way to go off the bat. It’s going to be very expensive and with an early business probably not generate the returns you want. Instead, try public relations (PR). PR is less expensive and can be effective at generating buzz/awareness and direct leads. Try generating referrals and networking, which usually involve a ton of work but little cash upfront.

4 - Office space:
Typically one of the biggest expenses when running a small business. Avoid it if you can. Go virtual. Go home office.

5 - Staff:
You may need to bring people onboard right away, but if you can outsource, try that first. Definitely outsource things like accounting, bookkeeping and other non-essential functions. Get good referrals, negotiate good pricing and barter if you can. This is where your network will play a huge role. If you’ve got contacts or friends willing to provide these services for free or at a greatly reduced price, all the better! For essential services, if you do have to hire people, think sweat equity. You might not be comfortable taking on partners, but if they’re minority stakeholders it might be worth the cut in payroll.

From Instigatorblog

The Truth About Food Expiration Dates

Nervous folks are peering more closely at dates stamped on the produce they buy from supermarkets. But how helpful are these dates really?
Many of them are actually quite confusing. "Is a food fresh until Feb. 1, 2008, if that's the date stamped on it, and then do you throw it out on Feb. 2?" asks Jeanne Goldberg, professor at the Friedman School of Nutrition Science & Policy at Tufts University. "It's a very inexact science since those dates include a wide margin of safety.

More information about this on Buisness Week

Read Linux Partitions on your Wintel Machine

"What's unique about this software?
It provides Windows NT4.0/2000/XP with full access to Linux Ext2 volumes (read access and write access). This may be useful if you have installed both Windows and Linux as a dual boot environment on your computer.
The "Ext2 Installable File System for Windows" software is freeware."


Type faster, for free

Try out this opensource typing tutor...

Maybe even try to change from QWERTY to DVORAK... It's easier than you think, and you will save up to 30% time, and reduce rpetitive strain quite a lot...


Is all downloading illegal?

NOT when it's in the public domain...

According to WIRED:

"Don’t assume movies in the public domain are just too lousy to make renewing copyright worthwhile.
That’s true of only 99.99 percent of them! Here are 10 worth downloading for your PSP or iPod. Find them at sites like or"

Greats like Night of the Living Dead, Driller Killer and The Street Fighter (Made by Quentin Tarantino's idol Chiba) are some of the highlights HERE.

Back to skool...

How do you Autosummarize a word document?

THIS is how...

3000 WPM

This little tool is great....

(For me... I know there are people who already know how many 1000's of words they type per minute...)

See how many words you type in a day...


Lies that affect Freelancers

Although Mark Lewis mentions that these are "Top 10 Lies told to Naive Artists and Designers", I think they are valid for Fleelancing Tranlators also...

(I particularly like rule number 6)

1 "Do this one cheap (or free) and we'll make it up on the next one."
No reputable business person would first give away their work and time or merchandise on the hope of making it up later. Can you imagine what a plumber would say if you said "come in, provide and install the sink for free and next time we'll make it up when we need a sink." You would be laughed at! Also the likelyhood is that if something important came along, they wouldn't use you.

2 "We never pay a cent until we see the final product."
This is a croc, unless the person is leaving the door open to cheat you out of your pay. Virtually every profession requres a deposit or incremental payment during anything but the smallest project. Once you have a working relationship, you may work out another arrangement with a client. But a new client should not ask you to go beyond an initial meeting and, perhaps some preliminary sketches without pay on the job!

3 "Do this for us and you'll get great exposure! The jobs will just pour in!"
Baloney. Tell a plumber "Install this sink and my friend will see and you'll get lots of business!" Our plumber friend would say "You mean even if I do a good job I have to give my work away to get noticed? Then it isn't worth the notice." Also the guy would likely brag to everyone he knows about how this would normally cost (X) dollars, but brilliant businessman that he is he got if for free! If anyone calls, they'll expect the same or better deal.

4 On looking at sketches or concepts: "Well, we aren't sure if we want to use you yet, but leave your material here so I can talk to my partner/investor/wife/clergy."
You can be sure that 15 minutes after you leave he will be on the phone to other designers, now with concepts in hand, asking for price quotes. When you call back you will be informed that your prices were too high and Joe Blow Design/Illustration will be doing the job. Why shouldn't they be cheaper? You just gave them hours of free consulting work! Until you have a deal, LEAVE NOTHING CREATIVE at the clients office.

5 "Well, the job isn't CANCELLED, just delayed. Keep the account open and we'll continue in a month or two."
Ummm, probably not. If something is hot, then not, it could be dead. It would be a mistake to *not* bill for work performed at this point and then let the chips fall where they may! Call in two months and someone else may be in that job. And guess what? They don't know you at all.....

6 "Contract? We don't need no stinking contact! Aren't we friends?"
Yes, we are, until something goes wrong or is misunderstood, then you are the jerk in the suit and I am that idiot designer, then the contract is essential. That is, unless one doesn't care about being paid. Any reputable business uses paperwork to define relationships and you should too.

7 "Send me a bill after the work goes to press."
Why wait for an irrelevant deadline to send an invoice? You stand behind your work, right? You are honest, right? Why would you feel bound to this deadline? Once you deliver the work and it is accepted, BILL IT. This point may just be a delaying tactic so the job goes through the printer prior to any question of your being paid. If the guy waits for the job to be printed, and you do changes as necessary, then he can stiff you and not take a chance that he'll have to pay someone else for changes.

8 "The last guy did it for XXX dollars."
That is irrelevant. If the last guy was so good they wouldn't be talking to you, now would they? And what that guy charged means nothing to you, really. People who charge too little for their time go out of business (or self-destruct financially, or change occupations) and then someone else has to step in. Set a fair price and stick to it.

9 "Our budget is XXX dollars, firm."
Amazing, isn't it? This guy goes out to buy a car, and what, knows exactly what he is going to spend before even looking or researching? Not likely. A certain amount of work costs a certain amount of money. If they have less money (and you *can*) do less work and still take the job. But make sure they understand that you are doing less work if you take less money that you originally estimated. Give fewer comps, simplify, let them go elsewhere for services (like films) etc.

10 "We are having financial problems. Give us the work, we'll make some money and we'll pay you. Simple."
Yeah, except when the money comes, you can expect that you will be pretty low on the list to be paid. If someone reaches the point where they admit that the company is in trouble, then they are probably much worse off than they are admitting to. Even then, are you a bank? Are you qualified to check out their financials? If the company is strapped to the point where credit is a problem through credit agencies, banks etc. what business would you have extending credit to them. You have exactly ZERO pull once they have the work. Noble intentions or not, this is probably a losing bet. But if you are going to roll the dice, AT LEAST you should be getting additional money for waiting. The bank gets interest and so should you. That is probably why the person is approaching you; to get six months worth of free interest instead of paying bank rates for credit and then paying you with that money. Don't give away money.
Now, this list wasn't meant to make anyone crazy or paranoid, but is designed to inject some reality into the fantasy.

You are GOING to be dealing with people who are unlike yourself. Their motivations are their own and their attitudes are probably different than yours. There are going to be demands, problems, issues and all the hassles that go with practically ANY work/job/money situation. Too many times I see the sad example of someone walking in to a situation with noble intentions and then getting royally screwed, because what they see as an opportunity and a labor of love, the other party sees as something else entirely, not at all romantic or idealized, but raw and simple.
How can you deal with this stuff and still do good creative work? Good question. THIS is why an education is important.

You learn, out of the line of fire, how to deal with the art at it's own level and also how to deal with the crap that surrounds it. You may have tough teachers and think that it can't be worse, but wait until a business person has a hundred grand riding on your art! Then you will know what "demanding" means.

You will then thank all those tough teachers for building up the calluses that enable you to enjoy the job rather than just feeling like it is all a big waste of time!
In the end, working commercially, being a terrific artist is about 25% of the task. If that is the only part of the task that you are interested in, do yourself a favor. Don't turn "pro."