Malawi, me, friends, stories, and whatever else I generally find interesting that's going on in this world...

Wednesday, May 31, 2006

Da Venchy Code

Although codes are created every day, some are'nt really codes... but secret doors to important information.

For example:

I wonder where that fish has gone.

You did love it so. You looked after it like a son.

And it went wherever I did go.

Is it in the cupboard?

Yes! Yes! No!...

Wouldn't you like to know?
It was a lovely little fish.
And it went wherever I did go.

It's behind the sofa!

Where can that fish be?

Have you thought of the drawers in the bureau?!

Shh!

It is a most elusive fish!
And it went wherever I did go.
Ooooh, fishy, fishy, fishy fish!
A-fish, a-fish, a-fish, a-fishy, ooooh.
Ooooh, fishy, fishy, fishy fish!
That went wherever I did go.

Look up his trunk!

Yeah, it's hidden in his trousers!


Leave me a comment, if you want to know the meaning of this VERY INTERESTING code...

Tuesday, May 23, 2006

Russian Klingon Names

Translate your name into Russian Klingon

This is so cool.

Great band, bad reason...


History6 have a pretty neat write up on how WWI began...

"People tend to know in simplistic terms why both World War I and World War II started, but often they do not seem to realise just how complex the situations were at those times.

In the case of World War I most people know that assassination of Franz Ferdinand set of the war, but they don't realise all the factors that surround this.

Prior to the war the countries of Europe were arrayed in sophisticated systems of alliance. These systems were so closely balanced that the weakening of one country fatally weakened the entire alliance. This meant that if even once country was attacked then the two alliances effectively had to declare war on one another.
"

Spaniards really are imbeciles...

Menshealth asked 40.000 men "How do you please your women?"

Here is a reasonably sensible answer from India, called "the Fusion":

"Sit on the bed or floor with your legs extended out in front of you. Lean back about 15 degrees, supporting yourself with your arms. Ask her to sit facing you, and help her lower herself on your penis while she leans back and supports her body with her arms behind her. Her knees should be bent and near your shoulders. "This is one of the few positions in which the union of sexual organs is visible for both partners," says Mahinder Watsa, M.D., a sex therapist in India. "That translates into an increase in sexual excitement."




And, here is how the Spanish do it: "The Downward Dog"

Ask her to rest her chest on the bed while lifting her rear in the air. From your knees, enter her from behind. Thrust downward slightly and the bottom of your penis will massage her vaginal wall where her G-spot is located. "This position lengthens her vaginal wall," says Pedro Otero, a sexologist in Spain, "which tightens her and makes you feel bigger."

So guys, if you want to please your woman, make her act like a dog, and do it in such a way that you get all the pleasure...

Arf Arf...

The Da Vinic Cdoe

Rotten tomatoes have been pretty bang on with most of their movie reveiws... so when they gave Tom Hanks and Ms. Tatou a 21% rating.... and users give it a 73% rating... something's up.

Well, I'm gonna see it soon...

BTW... anyone seen it already and think Rottentomatoes were being fair?

Women are just plain nasty...

Woman Rips Off Her Husband's Balls With Bare Hands...

erm...

it's right here, if you want...

Evel Knievel hangs up his helmet

Evel Knievel has trouble now just walking from his condo to the pool.

One of my favourites, back in the day, I had his motorised bike, complete with rider, and it was christmas time all over again whenever someone managed to sneak a video of some of his stunts through the Malawian censorship's talons (another, different, long story)

According to ksdk:

"The '70s cultural icon and poster boy for fast living and derring-do is 67, his body broken by years of spectacular crashes and ravaged by a multitude of serious ailments. The king of the daredevils can hardly get out of bed most days, let alone straddle a Harley.

On bad days, Knievel wishes he had gone into another line of work. On better days, he doesn't regret a minute. Lung disease sometimes makes it hard for him to talk, but his stories still drip with swagger. He can be kind and gracious one minute, irascible and profane the next."


Read more

and go to his official site

Something else that peeves me off...

When it comes to teaching high school students to avoid risky sexual behavior, a Mexican study appears to support what U.S. studies have already suggested — no current approach works.

Students here who took a 15-week HIV-prevention course that promoted condom use were no more likely to report using a condom during sex a year later than were students who took the standard sex-education course, said Juan Pablo Gutierrez, B.Sc., and colleagues, at the National Institute of Public Health here.

The study, reported online in the BMJ, involved nearly 11,000 first-year students at 40 public high schools in the state of Morelos.

Are they all mentally retarded? Memory span of 1 second, perhaps?

Really, they should all f#ck off and die... or spend a week at an AIDS ward in a developing country....

Grrr...

Watch out for strip clubs... If you're under cover

OK, so everyone knows that terrorists don't fight fair and, often, neither do the government forces who try to thwart them. But both sides in the war on terrorism are deploying strange tactics, methods that can only be described as really, truly dirty.

Porn, lingerie and, allegedly, lap dances have been employed of late as instruments of countersurveillance and coercion. What remains a very serious global struggle is, at times, fought in strangely sexual ways.

Consider the testimony in April of an al-Qaeda informant within the stuffy confines of London's Old Bailey court. "When we went on-line we would deliberately go onto chat rooms and pornography sites. There were probably times I enjoyed it," the admitted terrorist testified, speaking of a technique he and friends used to divert scrutiny.

So sayeth The Globe And Mail

Happy birthday JIM!!!


Kermit the Frog is on display so is Rover, but Miss Piggy apparently took a pass on the Smithsonian's invitation to be on exhibit.

The Smithsonian's National Museum of American History is celebrating the 50th Anniversary of the beloved puppets created by the late Jim Henson.

In the 1960's Henson created a host of characters for children and they all found a home on "Sesame Street". Henson went on to create more characters who starred in their own show called "The Muppet Show."

Check out a small slideshow over at NBC


(And click the pic for wallpaper)

How Horror Rocked Europe

Finnish metal band Lordi, who dress in monster masks and outlandish fantasy costumes, have taken the Eurovision Song Contest by storm.

They would not look out of place in a Lord of the Rings film, their lead singer describes himself as "the hulk of hell" and they sing about "the arockalypse" and "the day of rockoning".


And now Lordi have joined the likes of Abba, Bucks Fizz, Dana and Celine Dion on the elite list of Eurovision winners.

This hard rock band were already successful in their home country, but have now become a phenomenon in Europe.

BBC have the low-down

Gladly the cross-eyed bear


Madonna's up to her old tricks...

Posing as J.C. himself...

Who the hell does she think she is?

(pretty cool, actually...)

Read more over at the Daily Mail

Top (Bottom) worst beers in the world


Amazing...

No Portuguese beers in the world's worst 50.

I would definately stick Chopp in that list, occupying all of the first 10 places.

Un-Amazing....

Almost all beers are from Yank-land.

Gimme a PINT

Nocomment nostalgia...





Unfortunately, there's more

Oh No... Here we go again...

Here we have another nutter...

Apparently the earth will be destroyed... or at least cities surrounding the atlantic...

"I have received information psychically, which is corroborated by scientific data, according to which on May 25, 2006 a giant tsunami will occur in the Atlantic Ocean, brought about by the impact of a comet fragment which will provoke the eruption of under-sea volcanoes. Waves up to 200 m high will reach coastlines located above and below the Tropic of Cancer. However, all of the countries bordering the Atlantic will be affected to greater or lesser destructive and deadly levels. This site is dedicated to life, to civic responsibility and to information. There is still time to save lives. Thanks for participating in the world-wide alert!" -- Eric Julien


Here is this wierdo's site

Portuguese have a (no) I.Q.

According to timesonline.co.uk, Germans are the brainiest europeans..

Ahem:

"BRITAIN and France have experienced long periods of conflict and rivalry but now victory in one area can be claimed: Britons are more intelligent than the French.

A new European league of IQ scores has ranked the British in eighth place, well above the French, who were 19th. According to Richard Lynn of the University of Ulster, Britons have an average IQ of 100. The French scored 94. But it is not all good news. Top of the table were the Germans, with an IQ of 107. The British were also beaten by the Netherlands, Poland, Sweden, Italy, Austria and Switzerland."

Here's their table:


Maybe they just forgot about us?

Read more

If i was a tyrant...

The Top 100 Things I'd Do If I Ever Became An Evil Overlord
  1. My Legions of Terror will have helmets with clear plexiglass visors, not face-concealing ones.

  2. My ventilation ducts will be too small to crawl through.

  3. My noble half-brother whose throne I usurped will be killed, not kept anonymously imprisoned in a forgotten cell of my dungeon.

  4. Shooting is not too good for my enemies.

  5. The artifact which is the source of my power will not be kept on the Mountain of Despair beyond the River of Fire guarded by the Dragons of Eternity. It will be in my safe-deposit box. The same applies to the object which is my one weakness.

  6. I will not gloat over my enemies' predicament before killing them.

  7. When I've captured my adversary and he says, "Look, before you kill me, will you at least tell me what this is all about?" I'll say, "No." and shoot him. No, on second thought I'll shoot him then say "No."

  8. After I kidnap the beautiful princess, we will be married immediately in a quiet civil ceremony, not a lavish spectacle in three weeks' time during which the final phase of my plan will be carried out.

  9. I will not include a self-destruct mechanism unless absolutely necessary. If it is necessary, it will not be a large red button labelled "Danger: Do Not Push". The big red button marked "Do Not Push" will instead trigger a spray of bullets on anyone stupid enough to disregard it. Similarly, the ON/OFF switch will not clearly be labelled as such.

  10. I will not interrogate my enemies in the inner sanctum -- a small hotel well outside my borders will work just as well.

  11. I will be secure in my superiority. Therefore, I will feel no need to prove it by leaving clues in the form of riddles or leaving my weaker enemies alive to show they pose no threat.

  12. One of my advisors will be an average five-year-old child. Any flaws in my plan that he is able to spot will be corrected before implementation.

  13. All slain enemies will be cremated, or at least have several rounds of ammunition emptied into them, not left for dead at the bottom of the cliff. The announcement of their deaths, as well as any accompanying celebration, will be deferred until after the aforementioned disposal.

  14. The hero is not entitled to a last kiss, a last cigarette, or any other form of last request.

  15. I will never employ any device with a digital countdown. If I find that such a device is absolutely unavoidable, I will set it to activate when the counter reaches 117 and the hero is just putting his plan into operation.

  16. I will never utter the sentence "But before I kill you, there's just one thing I want to know."

  17. When I employ people as advisors, I will occasionally listen to their advice.

  18. I will not have a son. Although his laughably under-planned attempt to usurp power would easily fail, it would provide a fatal distraction at a crucial point in time.

  19. I will not have a daughter. She would be as beautiful as she was evil, but one look at the hero's rugged countenance and she'd betray her own father.

  20. Despite its proven stress-relieving effect, I will not indulge in maniacal laughter. When so occupied, it's too easy to miss unexpected developments that a more attentive individual could adjust to accordingly.

Read the other 80 rules HERE

Your secrets for sale

Your secrets for sale -- cheap
By Liz Pulliam Weston
Your unlisted phone number, credit report and other personal records are available for a pittance to almost anyone, via databases that are poorly protected and often incorrect.

You may know that data brokers make big money buying and selling your personal information. Details about your divorce, debt load and driving record sit in computer databases around the country, waiting for buyers.

What you may not know is how much your data is worth: not much.The largest publicly traded data brokers -- ChoicePoint, Acxiom, Equifax and LexisNexis, a unit of Reed Elsevier -- all reported revenues of $1 billion or more each last year, but they make their money with sheer volume. Each bit of your data costs at most a few bucks, and often just a few cents.

Getting your address might cost a quarter. Your unpublished phone number? Anywhere from $1 to $10. Someone can purchase your marriage certificate or bankruptcy records for $3. For $40 to $50, anyone can obtain a relatively thorough background check, which would include your date of birth, phone numbers, addresses for the last couple of decades, criminal record, lawsuits, liens and property ownership (including, often, a map to your house), along with a list of neighbors and possible relatives with their contact information.

These are retail prices, by the way -- what anybody poking around on the Internet might pay. People and companies that buy data in bulk pay much, much less:

  1. You might pay $8 or $9 to look at your own credit report (after you've used up your free annual view that's guaranteed by federal law). A credit card company or major collection agency that buys a million or more reports a year might pay less than 50 cents for the same report.

  2. Anyone could buy your driving record from a background search Web site for $15 to $35, depending on which state you live in. A bulk buyer might pay just $3 for the same report from a commercial vendor.

  3. A variety of Web sites allow users to type in an unpublished landline or cell-phone number to get the owner's name and address, usually for a fee of around $8. Such reverse lookups cost bulk buyers 15 cents to 75 cents.
Easy access, unregulated industry"I doubt that people could be aware of how cheap (their data) can go," said Evan Hendricks, editor of the Privacy Times newsletter and Web site and author of "Credit Scores and Credit Reports." "It's a very competitive market, and the information is all electronic."This carnival of cheap data is made possible by two developments: the spread of the Internet, which has made collecting and disseminating data much less expensive, and the creation of software that allows simultaneous searches of multiple databases.Information that was once stored in dusty file cabinets or inside government or corporate mainframes is now digitized, cross-referenced and easily accessible.Much of the data is initially collected for legitimate purposes: for employment screening, insurance underwriting, credit checks, debt collection, law enforcement. But once collected, the data may be purchased by smaller, Web-based data resellers, some of which are shady operators with phony domain registrations and no ethics about what they sell to whom."It's a yucky, yucky world," said Bob Sullivan, author of "Your Evil Twin: Behind the Identity Theft Epidemic." "The whole industry is not regulated at all."Available to anyoneThere are some restrictions, at least theoretically, on who can look at certain data. Your credit report, for example, under federal law is supposed to be pulled only by those with a "legitimate business need," which can include:

  1. Creditors and those considering granting you credit

  2. Landlords

  3. Employers and potential employers

  4. Insurance companies

  5. Government agencies
Of that group, only employers and potential employers are required to get your written permission, although in practice most potential creditors, insurers and landlords pull your report only after you've made an application.Still, many data resellers simply rely on buyers' assurances that they have a "legitimate business need," privacy experts say."It's in many respects a meaningless protection," said Beth Givens, head of the Privacy Rights Clearinghouse. "It's not all that difficult to get this information."And much of what's available from data brokers is pulled from public records --courthouses, county tax assessors, Department of Motor Vehicle databases -- that have few if any limits on how the information can be used.Other data you might think is private, like unpublished phone and cell numbers, are purchased in bulk from phone carriers and resold at will.Data brokers say all this cheap data is actually a boon to consumers because it facilitates transactions and help prevents fraud:

  1. Credit bureaus say their data allow lenders and merchants to extend more credit because they're able to winnow the good risks from the bad.

  2. Employment screeners say they help keep pedophiles out of day-care centers and thieves away from cash registers.

  3. Background-check companies say they can help track down deadbeat parents, criminals and debtors, making for a safer and fairer society.


ChoicePoint, in fact, says 60% of its business relates to "consumer initiated" transactions: providing background checks for a job application, tenant screening for a landlord or information to help an insurer underwrite a policy. Another 5% of ChoicePoint's business involves supplying information to law enforcement agencies, while 6% involves risk mitigation and fraud prevention. (A further 9% involves marketing to consumers who've given their permission to be contacted for various goods and services, said ChoicePoint spokesman Chuck Jones, while the final 20% relates to software and technology services that don't involve personal data.)

Easy to steal and full of errorsChoicePoint, of course, was famously targeted last year by identity thieves who posed as legitimate business owners and who accessed the personal information of about 145,000 consumers. The company has since shut down the affected unit, which provided information to small businesses, and placed new restrictions and auditing procedures on its clients.LexisNexis was also targeted by cyber-criminals who compromised legitimate customers' logins and passwords to access personal information, including names, addresses and Social Security numbers, of as many as 310,000 people. LexisNexis also said it has beefed up its security and authentication procedures.Identity theft isn't the only potential problem with these vast databases, however. Information collections can be goldmines for the vengeful and the deranged. Stalker Liam Yoeuns used data broker Docusearch to track down Amy Lynn Boyer, a woman he'd been obsessed with since high school, in 1999. After getting Boyer's Social Security number and work address from the company, he drove to Boyer's workplace and fatally shot her, then himself.A more common but still serious problem is errors in the information or how it's compiled. Givens said her clearinghouse is frequently contacted by people who have discovered erroneous criminal records turning up in their background checks.

Victims of such errors often have little recourse, Givens said, since there's no federal statute that guarantees them the right to a correction."It's up to (the data brokers') computers and algorithms to decide what information goes into whose file," Privacy Times' editor Hendricks said. "There's no one auditing this on behalf of consumers."So what's a consumer to do? You can't opt out of these databases. As soon as you're born -- and a birth certificate is issued -- your information becomes part of the system. Your subsequent actions continue the paper trail: getting a driver's license, a diploma, a job, a car; registering to vote; applying for an insurance policy; buying a home; and finally dying -- all generate data that can later be bought or sold.But you may be able to pressure your lawmakers to put some limits on an industry that's grown up without any. And you should be given the right to access and correct what these brokers are saying about you."Every year, you should be able to ask any of these companies to give you its report on you (for free), just like what we have now with credit reports," Sullivan said, "and there should be some way to fix it."


Liz Pulliam, Moneycentral

Wednesday, May 10, 2006

Testing

Testing

This is just a quick test, to see how well “Word for Blogger” works.

Hmm…

(image placeholder)

Wednesday, May 03, 2006

This is actually quite funny

7 anos de mau sexo.

1º Leiam - http://munhanha.no.sapo.pt/RevistaVidas.jpg

Agora a resposta de Miguel Sousa Tavares:

"Minha Cara,

Tenho, sinceramente, muita pena de si...

Em primeiro lugar, tive a pena de constatar que só se sentiu realizada, ou minimamente realizada, em 20% dos minetes que lhe fizeram. Concordo consigo quando diz que os homens devem perguntar às respectivas se estão contentes com o seu desempenho. Nesse caso, porque é que assume claramente que finge os seus orgasmos? Das duas uma, ou a menina nunca foi "comida" como devia, ou então, coitadinha, não tem mesmo jeitinho nenhum para o sexo. Nós, homens, também lhe podemos fazer, por exemplo uma estatistica de quantas mulheres são ou não boas na cama. Ou quantas fazem ou não, bons broches. O que nunca lhe vamos poder fazer é fingir um orgasmo. Isto, claro, se conseguir que atinjamos um.

Acredite que há muitos homens que perguntam as parceiras se estão contentes com o seu desempenho. E acredite também que a maior parte dos homens não teve que ler um manual para fazer bons minetes. Apenas teve que os fazer, uma e outra e outra vez. Só com treino se consegue melhorar a performance minha cara.

Em segundo lugar, informo-a que, caso ainda nao tenha percebido, o que você está a fazer é, muito simplesmente, a aumentar o número de homens que pratica mau sexo. Você e as mulheres como você. Ora repare: se você finge um orgasmo de cada vez que está com um homem, em primeiro lugar, está a fazer com que o homem acredite que realmente percebe do assunto (Sim, há homens que nao percebem). Em segundo lugar, está a fazer com que este mesmo homem, não se esforçe o suficiente para agradar a parceira na relação seguinte.

Penso que estamos ambos de acordo, quando digo que uma situação destas não é agradável, nem tão pouco desejável, certo?

O meu conselho, se o quiser aceitar, é: Faça mais sexo!!! A sério, penso que voçê precisa. Mas faça mais sexo sem fingir orgasmos. Vai ver que a sua vida sexual vai melhorar exponencialmente, e excusa de se vir queixar para as revistas. É obvio que nem todos os homens lhe vão dar um orgasmo, ambos sabemos isso. Mas vão tentar, isso,eu garanto..

E já agora. Informo-a também que não é assim tão raro uma mulher pedir ao "querido" para fazer assim ou assado. Não julgue todas as mulheres por si, "Dra.Ruth".

Um Cordial abraço,

Miguel Sousa Tavares"