Malawi, me, friends, stories, and whatever else I generally find interesting that's going on in this world...

Friday, May 23, 2008

Thought of the week

If voting
really changed
anything tangible or real
in this world,
it would be illegal....

Pretty Hate Machine

I don't leave tips.
I dont donate money.
I don't give cigarettes to homeless people.
I don't give coins to drug addicts who think theyre helping me park my car.
I don't have an account where the bank deposits 0.5% of my salary into a charities account.
I don't fill a grocery bag with food and hand it to the hunger charity waiting at the back of the supermarket.
Even when I lived in africa (where people have REAL problems) I never gave out money or change to anyone, no matter how bad the situation looked.
I don't have 50 sites in my favourites where for each click or advert I view, they send off a grain of rice or a shotglass of water down to africa, or across the ocean to wherever the latest hurricane or earthquake hit.

I dont, because I dont believe that doing any of those things will actually work in making the situations better. Also, all the major money making companies and governments turn a blind eye to all those things, and hide this fact by telling people they can donate their money, in order to feel better about themselves....

I was at the shops last week, and of the 5 things I went in to buy, 3 of them had big yellow and red stickers on them, saying something to the tune of:

"For every one of these yoghurts/bottles of juice/packets of tea you buy, we will donate 5/10/20 cents to the save the childeren/heart/cancer/animal protection institute."

Ok.

The companies selling these goods are not going to put in an extra 10 cents for every bog roll/kilo of lettuce/sack of kitty litter I buy.

Therefore, they add it on top of their price.


WHICH MEANS I'M PAYING TO DONATE TO A CHARITY THAT I DIDNT CHOOSE... and that I didnt want to donate to in the first place...


From now on, any product that mentions it'll give 10 cents over to a (insert charity organisation, humanitarian group or medical investigation institute here) I'm boycotting.

Thursday, May 22, 2008

AMAZINGLY SIMPLE HOME REMEDIES

1. IF YOU'RE CHOKING ON AN ICE CUBE, SIMPLY POUR A CUP OF BOILING WATER DOWN YOUR THROAT. PRESTO! THE BLOCKAGE WILL INSTANTLY REMOVE ITSELF.


2. AVOID CUTTING YOURSELF WHEN SLICING VEGETABLES BY GETTING SOMEONE ELSE TO HOLD THE VEGETABLES WHILE YOU CHOP.

3. AVOID ARGUMENTS ABOUT THE TOILET SEAT - USE THE SINK.

4. FOR HIGH BLOOD PRESSURE SUFFERERS ~ SIMPLY CUT YOURSELF AND BLEED FOR A FEW MINUTES, THUS REDUCING THE PRESSURE ON YOUR VEINS. REMEMBER TO USE A TIMER.

5. A MOUSE TRAP PLACED ON TOP OF YOUR ALARM CLOCK WILL PREVENT YOU FROM ROLLING OVER AND GOING BACK TO SLEEP AFTER YOU HIT THE SNOOZE BUTTON.

6. IF YOU HAVE A BAD COUGH, TAKE A LARGE DOSE OF LAXATIVES. THEN YOU'LL BE AFRAID TO COUGH.

7. YOU ONLY NEED TWO TOOLS IN LIFE - WD-40 AND DUCT TAPE. IF IT DOESN'T MOVE AND SHOULD, USE THE WD-40. IF IT SHOULDN'T MOVE AND DOES, USE THE DUCT TAPE.

8. REMEMBER - EVERYONE SEEMS NORMAL UNTIL YOU GET TO KNOW THEM.

9. IF YOU CAN'T FIX IT WITH A HAMMER, YOU'VE GOT AN ELECTRICAL PROBLEM.

DAILY THOUGHT: SOME PEOPLE ARE LIKE SLINKIES - NOT REALLY GOOD FOR ANYTHING, BUT THEY BRING A SMILE TO YOUR FACE WHEN PUSHED DOWN THE STAIRS.